#doubt you'll see or read this
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victorzsasz · 8 months ago
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Like I truly believe all drugs should be legal, just so the government can regulate it more and make it safer ect. even though I don't trust the government, I still think it could be better if there were safer ways to use, like clean and safer supplies, regulated dosages, less dangerous drug trade, ect.
I truly believe the government needs to be dismantled and basically rebuilt or completely demolished, but I know realistically that will never happen, but we can at least TRY to shape it to be better than it is. I do feel like the world is doomed and I was born in a doomed generation and situation, but I'm desperately hopeful that even after me, the world can be better. doesn't feel like it, but I just feel like certain people need to die off, for the world to get better. I feel like maybe maybe maybe we can be better if the next generation is just BETTER. NICER. I feel like they are more accepting towards groups I remember being fuckin murdered and hated for things they can't change. Hell, they're being so progressive, the older gen is trying to BAN a certain app because it's reminding the people that THEY'RE in charge, THEY have to make change for it to happen, it's opening people's minds in some ways. they're scared. The People will ALWAYS have the power to fight back.
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onhajoon · 1 year ago
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An extract from kbizoom.com
Regarding the news of Season 3 production, Shin Jae Ha said, “Since Ha Joon is already dead in the drama, it is highly likely that I would not appear the next season, but I’m still cautiously hoping to join the team in Season 3”, adding “I had so much fun filming the drama with the seniors so I want to work with them again. I’m upset that my character has killed so many people, so I personally want On Ha Joon to return alive as a member of Rainbow Taxi Company. If not, I really want to come out as Ha Joon’s twin brother”.
JUST GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS 😭
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im-just-a-dumb-gay · 10 months ago
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. Get to know your mutuals and followers ^^
Fandoms (Transformers, FNAF, Sonic, etc)
Cute little things (rubber duckies, figures, etc)
Soft things (plushies, blankets)
People I care about (hanging out, games, movies)
Making stuff (draw, crochet, sing random tunes)
It's kinda hard to list 5 specific things so I did 5 categories. Hope that's alright.
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emmulinchen · 2 days ago
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I redrew something.
I did a little digging in my art folder and found a piece from 2019 that I used to be really proud of. When I found it, I got the same feeling as I get when looking at PS3 graphics. "Wow I thought it looked so good back then." So I just knew I had to take another try at this piece.
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I think the vibe of the two versions is very different. Someone told me the new one looks sad, while the old one seems more surprised. I don't think so, personally. What do you think?
Under the cut you can find close-ups and more information about this piece, for anyone intrested.
The eyes used to be like soap bubbles as well, and I liked that idea, even though I think it looks a bit scary. I don't know how well you'll be able to see it with the compression, but the eyes still do have the soapy colours.
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Originally I thought this piece was from 2019, but turns out it's actually a version I had "fixed". Most of it was drawn in 2018. The main change I did in 2019, was to try and fix the placement and shape of the nose, because I used to draw noses way to short and didn't know how to detail them, while it might an improvement from the original, I don't think it's the best. Nontheless, I do think it was one of my better works back then and I understand why I was proud of it.
Here's a compilation of the three versions I have now:
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It's almost like they grew a nose.
My biggest issue were the bubbles, since understanding them was my goal with the original piece (but I gave had given up on it) I had to look at a lot of soap bubbles for reference. My friend @depressoblueberry (thank you <3) helped me with figuing them out by giving feedback and telling me if they do, in fact, look like soap bubbles. (Looking at it too much and staring at photos of soap bubbles made me blind to my mistakes.) Now I'm quite happy how the bubbles came out. Later I was informed that apparently the colour of soap bubbles depends on the thickness of their walls. Luckily this isn't physics class.
All in all I'm really happy how this redraw turned out. You can really see how my art has changed over the last 6-7 years. I can't wait until this new version looks like old graphics to me.
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chahnniesroom · 3 months ago
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night again
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pairing: bang chan x female reader
summary: in hindsight, visiting chan's studio right before a comeback isn't one of your best ideas. what was supposed to be a pleasant surprise leaves you spiraling into self-doubt, wondering if chan even wants to be in a relationship with you at all.
word count: 6.4k
tags/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, misunderstandings, insecurities, reader not eating due to stress
a/n: the long awaited 'he calls you clingy' fic! title is from the english translation of 또 다시 밤 (twilight)
read it on ao3 | masterlist
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You love your job. It's challenging for sure and the expectations from upper management are often unforgiving, but you’re proud of how hard you've worked and everything that you've accomplished in the past few years at your company. 
As you've gained experience, you've slowly been given more and more responsibility. You've grown out of your junior role and though you're thrilled by the pay raise and prospect of being a team lead rather than being led by one, it's also daunting.
When you and your new team are assigned an important project with tight deadlines, you're determined to prove yourself. It's implied that you're going to have to have to dedicate a significant amount of time to finish it and while you're no stranger to long hours, it means that any plans you have of seeing your boyfriend, Chan, are out the window.
The timing is not terrible, Stray Kids has a comeback scheduled in about a week so you didn't think that you would be able to spend that much time with Chan anyway, but you usually try to surprise the boys at one of the music shows with a cake and some home cooked food.
Luckily, you've already been planning for this. Although nothing had been confirmed, you had expected that this project would be awarded to your company and you've already been trying to spend more time with Chan than usual in preparation for the busy season ahead for both of you.
Still, you can't help but agree with your best friend at work after she complains how little she's going to see her partner this month. Jinjoo doesn't know who your boyfriend is, but the two of you are close enough that you’ve shared that you have one and that work takes up a lot of his time. You've gushed to her about the sweet things that Chan has done for you and you've admitted that you think he's the one.
“You should bring him dinner sometime!” she exclaims when you mention you're not sure when the next time you'll be able to see Chan will be.
“Well, he’s really busy-” you start to say.
“That’s the beauty of it. I’m sure he would appreciate if you brought him food at work, especially if he’s anything like my partner and gets so caught up with work that they forget to eat sometimes,” she insists.
“That’s true.”
“Just trust me, Y/n. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I wasn’t sure that it’d work. My partner loves when I do this. It’s literally the perfect way to take some time for each other before you’re both too busy. Even if he's super busy, his work can't be bad enough that he’s not allowed to eat, right?”
You agree somewhat reluctantly. You're still unsure about whether or not Chan would appreciate you barging in unannounced, but it is a cute idea and Jinjoo's confidence is enough to convince you.
The next day after work, you head to the company and order takeout for a late dinner for you and Chan, picking it up along the way. It reminds you of earlier in your relationship before you had gotten your current position and when Stray Kids were just gaining popularity. Both of you enjoyed having more casual date nights that provided more privacy as opposed to going out to fancy places and it makes you even more excited to see his reaction.
About a year after you started dating Chan, he insisted that you get a pass to get into JYP Entertainment without having to fill out a visitor's form and have someone pick you up. It has definitely come in handy more than a few times, although you try to limit the number of visits you make. Even though you're allowed to be there, it still feels intimidating to be in the building, like someone is going to recognize that you're not an employee and accuse you of being a sasaeng.
Luckily the late hour means that you make it to Chan's studio without having to interact with anybody except the security at the door, who had waved you through without a second thought. You had double checked with Felix earlier in the day to make sure that Chan didn't have any schedules or dinner plans, so you directly knock on his door without texting or calling him beforehand. 
“Y/n?” he asks, a bit baffled when he sees you. “Did we- Did I forget that we had plans tonight?”
“No,” you say, a little nervous for some reason. It's just Chan, you tell yourself, but it doesn't make you feel any better. “I didn't think that you had dinner yet and wanted to see you.”
“Oh, I see. Come in,” Chan responds slowly, still processing your sudden appearance. “I just have something that I need to finish up-”
“It's fine! You can work,” you assure him quickly. “I don't want to interrupt you too much, I just wanted to drop by since I don't have plans and wanted to make sure that you're eating well.”
Chan’s studio isn’t messy at all, but he still gets up to clear some space on a side table for you, before returning back to where he has Cubase opened up. You pass over his food and feel relieved when he immediately digs in, but your appetite seems to have vanished, you can only get yourself to pick at your meal.
Chan is short with his responses all evening and continues to work on his laptop, even while eating. It throws you off a bit, you thought that he would be able to get to a stopping point and at least make a bit of time for you, but you did tell him that he could. Even so, you're determined to make the most of the last time that you’re going to see them for a while. You know they’ve been super busy the past few days, or more like the past few weeks, but still you had thought he would be a little bit more engaged or at the very least seem happy to see you.
Finally, after half an hour of eating with minimal conversation, you decide to broach the subject that’s been on your mind this entire time. Chan’s finished his food and you know that you won’t be able to get yourself to eat anymore, so you shuffle everything off to the side and inch closer to Chan. 
“You know that client we’ve been trying to work with for a while?” you start tentatively.
Chan hums noncommittally, continuing to type on his computer. Not quite the reaction that you're hoping for, but you forge on anyway.
“We got awarded the job! It’s a great opportunity for the company and everyone is really excited, but-”
“Y/n,” he interrupts. “I’m sorry, that’s amazing and all, but you know that it’s not a good time for me right now. I have something I really need to work on and now that you’ve finished eating, can we please not bother with the small talk?”
“Oh,” you say, a bit caught off guard. Chan has never been the type to cut you off when you're speaking. “No, yeah, I get it. Uhm. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, just-” he sighs, sounding frustrated. “Next time can you please ask me when you want to visit in advance so this doesn’t happen again? You chose the worst timing to come by. I just need some space, from all of… this,” he says, waving a hand between the two of you.
“Sorry, I know it’s a busy time, but I just wanted to see-”
At that moment, an alarm on Chan's phone goes off, interrupting you. When he turns it off and notices the time, he swears lowly, unlocking his phone and typing out a message to somebody. You’re scared to break the silence. Less than a minute later, someone knocks on the door.
“Come in,” Chan calls. When Changbin and Jisung step into the room, they eye you curiously. You keep your head down and try to prevent your hands from shaking as you stand and start to haphazardly shove away all your belongings and the garbage from your dinner into bags. 
“Noona, it's good to see you!” Jisung says brightly, although his smile dims when you make eye contact and can only manage to weakly return the smile. “Sorry for interrupting you two.”
“Hi Hannie,” you reply quietly, not wanting to make conversation, but not wanting to be rude.
“It’s okay, Y/n was just leaving,” Chan says, his obvious annoyance making things even more awkward.
You say bye to the boys quietly and apologise as you shuffle past them to the door.
The handles of the bag from your dinner are digging into your hand painfully and your purse can’t close with the way that you’ve thrown everything into it. You only take a few steps before you have to stop for a moment to save a container from falling and decide to put down everything and reorganise it all.
When you crouch down, you take a second to mentally berate yourself. Everything you had worried about had come true. Instead of being a pleasant surprise, you had come across as a nuisance.
In your rush, you hadn't fully closed the studio door behind you and you're close enough that you can just barely pick up the conversation that happens inside.
“Sorry,” you hear Chan say faintly. “I don't know what's been going on, but Y/n has been… really clingy these days. She just showed up today without asking and I hate-”
You leave before he has the chance to say anything else. You look like a mess for sure, you had just grabbed all the empty containers without bothering to put them back into the plastic bag, your jacket is partially dragging on the ground, and your purse is hanging off your elbow, having slipped off your shoulder. You're pretty sure you hear an empty drink bottle clatter to the floor behind you, but you don't look back to check.
You don't have it in you to care, you just need to leave.
Even waiting for the elevator feels humiliating, so you bypass it and stumble down the stairs. You dump the garbage into a bin on the first floor, not bothering to sort it properly, and step out onto the street, bee-lining to the nearest subway station.
The ride home passes by in a blur.
It hurts, of course it hurts. 
Honestly the reason that your relationship had worked out so far was because you weren’t the kind of person that needed a lot of attention. You understood that both of you were busy and were content to just exchange messages every couple of days because you knew how important Stray Kids was to Chan. Of course you did, they were just as important to you.
If Chan wanted space, well. You were more than capable of giving it to him.
In fact, your upcoming schedule had been the reason that you had wanted to meet up in the first place, the source of your so-called clinginess. You’d never been called that before. You were hyper-independent and tended to get lost in your own mind, easily distracted by different thoughts. It had gotten to a point that most of your exes had complained at least once about you being distant or inattentive.
With Chan, you had been determined not to be the same. It had been difficult at first, to make the effort to send messages throughout the day. You had to convince yourself not to spend too long drafting replies in your head and try not to worry that you were bothering him, especially if you knew that he had schedules at the same time that you were texting.
By the time that you make it to your apartment, your pain has faded into a mixture of resignation and numbness. You don't want to talk to Chan about how you feel, it's your clinginess that he didn't like in the first place, and you don't think you'll have time or the energy for a long, emotional conversation in the next few weeks anyway. If you keep your distance for a while, it just benefits both of you, you tell yourself. You won’t be a distraction to Chan as Stray Kids has their comeback and he won’t be one to you as you take on this new project. 
As much as you want to spend the rest of your night overthinking- something you’ve done more than you’d like to admit- you know that you have a busy day at work tomorrow. Feeling a bit like a zombie, you force yourself to shuffle through your usual nighttime routine, swallowing a melatonin pill before climbing into bed.
Normally, you would send Chan a good night message. Actually, normally you would have sent him a message the second that you arrived home. It was something that he was insistent on starting from early on in your relationship, wanting to make sure that you were safe.
Tonight, you just turn off your phone, plug it into its charger, and sleep.
In the morning, you allow yourself to wallow in bed for 5 minutes, before you get ready for work. You’ve never been good at eating breakfast and today’s no exception. Your stomach turns uneasily at the thought of food so you only force yourself to drink some water before you leave.
Your team at work has agreed to get to work earlier than usual just to get a headstart on everything. Though you’re more of a night owl, you’re grateful to find that deviating from your usual routine means that the subway is empty enough that you can find an empty seat, a luxury that you’ve rarely experienced.
It feels eerie to walk through the streets of Seoul when the sun has just started to rise and you’re relieved when you finally make it to your office.
Unsurprisingly, you’re one of the first to arrive. You’re grateful for the time that you have to unpack your things and make a much needed coffee before the rest of your team shows up.
“How did it go last night?” Jinjoo asks you excitedly when she comes in.
“Uhm, it was okay,” you reply noncommittally. “He was definitely surprised.”
“Oh,” Jinjoo pouts at your lack of enthusiasm.
“I mean, it wasn’t bad,” you backtrack, hating to see her disappointed. “It was just so short, he was kind of… busy. But that’s what I expected anyway so that's fine I guess. Thanks for suggesting it to me though! I really appreciate it.”
“That’s good,” Jinjoo brightens. “At least you got to see him one last time.”
“Oh yeah for sure! I think that after seeing him yesterday, it’ll be easier to deal with how busy we’re going to be for the next few weeks,” you say truthfully. 
It’s not a lie, you justify. For the first time since you started dating, you’re not looking forward to the next time that you’re going to see Chan.
You know that your communication is about to reduce to an all time low for the next few weeks, and while you had originally been worried about how Chan would react, now you’re thinking that he’s just going to be relieved not to hear from you. You’ve never thought yourself to have been overly chatty with Chan during the day though, preferring in-person conversation over texting and knowing that he’s generally not available to read your messages anyway, much less send you a reply. It seemed that you were wrong. 
Luckily your team now has to use a shared box that you’re required to put your personal phones into during working hours and only have a little bit of time during lunch and dinner breaks, if you take them, to fish them out. It’s a policy that your company enforces when teams are working on confidential projects and you can’t blame them due to past litigation that they’ve been involved in after a former employee leaked sensitive information.
For once, you're glad for this excuse to not look at your phone, even if you feel a little bit naked to look at the side of your desk or reach into your pocket and not have your phone there. You’re relieved to bury yourself in your work and forget all about your personal life. Even though your project is just starting, you feel like you're already behind. 
When you're finished work for the day and take back your phone, you find yourself reluctant to check your notifications. It's only when you're waiting for the subway to arrive at your station that you finally force yourself to take a look.
No new messages or calls from Chan.
You’re not sure what you expected, but somehow you’re still disappointed.
You get back to your apartment late, you had wanted to finish a couple of things before you left the office and it had led to you being one of the last to leave. You had also stopped by the convenience store closest to your place, not having the energy to cook anything for yourself.
You pick at your dinner half-heartedly. You're used to eating alone, Chan often had his meals at odd times due to his schedules, but tonight the silence feels more oppressive. 
It haunts you, the tail end of the overheard conversation. You have no idea how Chan was going to complete the sentence, but your mind unhelpfully fills in the blanks with worse and worse suggestions.
He hates the timing of your visit.
He hates that you visited at all.
He hates that he has such a clingy girlfriend.
He hates that you are his clingy, annoying, bothersome girlfriend.
He hates you.
In moments of clarity, you can recognize that it's not true. That's not the Chan that you know and he would never say something like that about anybody, least of all you. It's just hard when a small part of you has never really been able to believe that someone as talented and amazing as Chan would want to date someone as unremarkable as you.
You find yourself falling into a new routine, waking early, working overtime, and trying not to cry yourself to sleep. You succeed most of the time, you keep yourself occupied by thinking about work and you're so physically exhausted by your long hours that you fall asleep the second that you get into bed. Luckily, your coworkers are just as overworked as you are and it’s easy to blame your declining condition on the project. Weekends don't help you rest at all, you've committed to your manager that you can work on Saturdays and Sundays are spent completing the chores that you've neglected during the week.
You still talk to Chan sometimes, either right when you wake up or on the way home after work. The conversation is stilted though, both because of the long delays between messages when you text and the limited time that you have when you call. It's enough of a difference that Chan asks you multiple times if everything is okay. Even though you try your best to assure him that you're fine, just busy, you're sure he knows that something is off, although he doesn't question you further.
Most exciting is the day that the new Stray Kids album releases. You've already heard most of the songs for this comeback, perks of dating the member that's the most involved in the writing and production of the album, but it's different now that they're available to the public too. You make sure to organise your schedule so that you're on break when the music video drops and you send a number of messages in the group chat that you have with the group cheering them on. Usually, you try to take a day off to deliver some food to them at the music shows, but you've had to settle for arranging with one of their managers to treat them to a meal.
You can tell when they get breaks because when you check your phone after work, notifications from the members are all in the same blocks of time. It's mostly them thanking you, taking pictures of the food you sent, flowers that they've been gifted, and letters from fans. They have a short promotion period this comeback, but it's packed with different interviews, performances, and fanmeets. At one point, Felix even sends you a picture of Chan sleeping slumped over on one of the waiting room couches. As much as you're relieved to see that he's able to get some rest, the picture has your stomach twisting uncomfortably.
You're proud of Chan, of all of the boys. They've worked so hard and each comeback seems to be more and more successful. Even if you're not confident in what's going to happen with you and Chan in the future, you want to celebrate with them while you still can.
After almost four weeks, your project is nearing completion and you've never been more grateful to have a deadline arrive.
You only have a couple more days left until your last submittal is due and after getting off work, you want nothing more than to collapse into bed even though your stomach has been growling the whole walk from the bus to your building. You had caught a significant mistake in a document right before it was going to be sent to a client and the whole afternoon had been spent trying to fix it in time. Your team had just barely managed it, but your head has been pounding for hours and your whole body is tight with stress.
You’re not quite sure how you make it to your apartment, your exhaustion has made you clumsy. You struggle a couple times to enter in the code to unlock your door and trip over a pair of shoes that are scattered in the entryway.
You manage to catch yourself before you fall, then squint back. Yes, you haven’t had the chance to tidy your apartment in a couple weeks, but you’ve never been the type to leave your shoes on the walking path.
A light is on, further in your apartment. You know for a fact it wasn’t like that when you left this morning, it would have been obvious since you've been leaving before the sun rises. Someone else is here.
You stare at the light for a few seconds in disbelief, then slowly reach to grab something, anything that you might be able to use to defend yourself. Your shaking hands close around a full sized umbrella that you keep beside your closet. 
You’ve already made enough commotion that there’s no way the intruder didn’t hear, but you try to keep your footsteps light as you creep down the hall to where your kitchen is. It’s stupid to try and confront them, but the idea of someone in your space, potentially taking your things, is enough to inspire a sudden bout of bravery.
You hold your breath as you turn the corner, launching forward to attack the second that you see someone. You recognise the figure halfway through your swing, and though it’s too late to fully stop, you manage to pull back enough that they’re able to easily catch the umbrella before it hits them.
Chan wraps his arms around you then eases the umbrella out of your hands, resting it against the wall. You sag into his embrace, adrenaline draining away, leaving you exhausted again. 
“Chan?”
You've missed this. His warmth, his comforting scent, the reassuring steadiness that he always provides. You can almost pretend that everything is fine.
“Sorry for scaring you,” he says, sounding more amused than apologetic.
“You should be,” you grumble into his shirt. “I could have seriously injured you if I didn't realise it was you!”
“I don't think that was going to be a problem.” Even though you can't see Chan, you can hear the grin in his voice.
“Hey!” You lightly smack his arm. “You take that back!”
“Fine, fine,” Chan acquiesces, holding up both his hands in surrender. “I'm very glad that I didn't have to experience the full power of your self defence.”
“Yeah yeah,” you huff. “What are you doing here anyway? Other than trying to give me a heart attack, that is.”
“I made you dinner,” Chan says shyly, turning pink.
“For what?” you ask suspiciously. It's easy to fall back into the banter that you typically exchange with Chan, but you can't help but be a bit wary these days.
“No reason. I uh, just haven't seen you in a while,” Chan says sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck where it’s now flushed red. “We had so much preparation to do and then all our schedules… Anyway, I wanted to surprise you, so I thought I could cook for us.”
Now that he's mentioned it, you can see that he's set your tiny kitchen table and that there's a couple of pots on the stove. Chan doesn’t cook often, but he’s expressed a desire to learn before and you’ve taught him how to make a few of your favourite recipes.
You stare at him for a moment, lost for words.
It's only been a few weeks, but you feel like you've forgotten how to act around Chan. Instead of a comfortable silence, it's almost awkward, neither of you knowing what to say.
“Oh,” you say finally, touched and still a little shocked that he's actually here. “That's- that's so nice, I just- is it okay if I wash up a bit quickly first?”
“No, yeah, of course. I'm sure you had a long day,” Chan says. “Go ahead, I’ll- the food should be reheated anyway so I’ll get on that. Take your time.”
You skirt around him to go to the bathroom, taking a moment to splash yourself with water. This feels like a bizarre dream and you wonder for a moment if you’re making this all up. But when you leave to go to your bedroom, Chan’s still there, puttering around in front of your kitchenette. You change your clothes slowly, mind racing as you try to puzzle together why Chan has decided to visit all of a sudden.
You eventually settle on the most logical reason that you can think of.
He’s finally decided to break up with you.
You’ve figured that this was coming for weeks by now, but somehow it still hurts. Instead of feeling resigned, it feels like you’re shattering into little pieces. You twist your work blouse into a tiny ball as you try not to cry, even though you know the fabric is going to wrinkle terribly. You finish cleaning up in a daze, already drafting what you're going to have to message your manager later. There's no way that you're going to be in any shape to work tomorrow if you’re right.
“Y/n?” Chan calls eventually. You know you're procrastinating leaving your room, but you want to put this off for as long as possible even though you know it’s just delaying the inevitable. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” you reply with a heavy heart. “I’m fine. I'll just be another second.”
You can tell that Chan doesn’t quite believe you. He hovers around you when you emerge from your bedroom, knocking away your hand when you try to pull out your own chair from the table.
He's set the table, going so far as to fold little napkins under your utensils. There's even a tiny vase with your favourite flowers as a centrepiece. All this effort just hurts more.
“You look exhausted. You got home so late. Where were you?” he asks.
“I was at work,” you reply stiffly. You know that if you try and say any more, your emotions are going to spill over and you're either going to scream or cry. Maybe both.
“So late?” Chan's forehead creases with some sort of emotion. You can't quite tell if it's concern or scepticism.
“You're not the only one that has a demanding job.”
“Y/n, you know that's not what I meant-”
“Sure,” you say. “Whatever, let's just eat. Thank you for the food.”
You don't want to deal with this. You're so tired.
You have no idea why Chan’s dragging this out longer than it needs to be. Why he’s forcing you to sit through a meal with him like he’s not about to break your heart. Chan is one of the kindest people you know, he’s probably trying to make this easier for you, giving you one last nice memory, but it just feels cruel.
Chan reaches out, stopping you before you can pick up your chopsticks. He stares at the way his fingers overlap each other around your wrist.
“You’ve lost weight,” he says quietly. You look away, watching steam curl from the bowl of rice that has been set in front of you instead of returning eye contact.
“I’ve been busy.” Is all you can say in response. 
You don’t want to tell him that you’ve been basically subsisting on iced americanos and various convenience store meals in part because of your work schedule, but mostly because of your lack of appetite. Every time you thought of Chan, it made your stomach turn and well, everything reminded you of him. You hadn’t realised how much it had actually affected your physical condition until now though.
“You're not taking care of yourself,” he scolds you. You can feel yourself bristle at his comment even though you know it’s true. “I haven't been around to take care of you either. I'm sorry.”
“Chan,” you protest. It has been weeks since you last saw him in person and you’ve spent more time that you’d like to admit micro analysing your relationship, but you still can’t make sense of his behaviour, especially how he keeps switching between criticism and tenderness.
“What?” he asks in genuine confusion.
“Why are you here?”
“I missed you,” Chan says, sounding hurt and confused. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”
“I just- I don’t understand what you want from me!” You run your hands through your hair in frustration. “One day you don’t want me around, we go weeks without seeing each other, then you’re at my place cooking me dinner? You said you needed space, I gave you space."
“Woah woah woah, what do you mean I don’t want you around?” Chan asks, alarmed. “When have I ever said that?”
“You made it pretty clear that you didn’t appreciate it when I went to bring you dinner that day,” you start.
“No, baby!” Chan stands up abruptly before you can say anything else. He falters when the loud scrape of his chair causes you to flinch back. He slowly walks towards you and kneels in front of you, reaching out to hold your hands in his. His eyes are wide with earnestness. “Of course I wanted to spend time with you. I always want to be with you.”
“So why did you call me clingy?” you ask in a small voice. Gone is your anger, replaced with a self-consciousness that you can’t hide. You look away as tears prickle your eyes.
Gently, Chan lets go of your hands and cups your cheeks instead, turning your face so that he can see you better. His thumbs swipe under your eyes, brushing away the tears that have managed to escape.
“Baby,” he says, sounding even more upset and angry than you feel. “I'm sorry. Did someone tell you I said that?”
“Nobody had to tell me, I heard you say it myself!” you burst out, pushing Chan away. You know that you’re being dramatic, that you keep oscillating between different emotions, but you don’t care. “That day, in your studio, you told Han and Changbin that I was really clingy.”
“You heard me talking to Binnie and Hannie?” Chan asks slowly.
“I didn't mean to eavesdrop,” you sniffle. One of Chan's hands shifts and he carefully tucks behind a lock of hair that has fallen in front of your face. The gentleness makes even more tears well up.
“It's okay, I think I know what you overheard now. It must have hurt, right?”
You can't muster up a response, choosing instead to just nod slightly.
“I’m sorry, I'm sorry,” he soothes you. “Can I explain myself?”
You pause for a moment, then slowly nod again.
“I don't mind that you're clingy, actually, I like it. I shouldn't have used that word. I like that you want to spend time with me, Y/n,” Chan says carefully. “I like that you take time to visit me, even though I know that your work is busy too. I think that it's cute and thoughtful that you think of me and try to take care of me by bringing me food. I know that you intentionally take the time out of your day to text me because you know that I like hearing from you, even though I might not see it or respond right away.”
Chan pauses for a second and you use it as an opportunity to pull away slightly. His hands tighten briefly, before he lets them fall away, giving you the space to process.
It's not that you don't like what Chan is saying, it's just hard to reconcile it with the thoughts that have been eating away at you for the past few weeks. You still don't understand what you overheard though, how it fits into all of this. When you voice your concerns to Chan, he sighs, before continuing to speak.
“I don't know what I did to have someone as caring and thoughtful as you in my life.” You want to protest, but Chan carries on before you can say anything. “It's just that- you visited me without notice and were the sweetest person in the world. I wanted to spend time with you, believe me, I did, but I can't just ignore my deadlines when the rest of the members are relying on me. It makes me feel like garbage when I can’t give you all my attention. That's the thing I hate the most. That I can't be the boyfriend that you deserve. That I can't show you how much you mean to me the way that I want to.”
It makes sense, in some sort of twisted way. You know that similarly to you, Chan often feels insecure. It had taken a while before you had been able to convince him that you really did want to be in a relationship with him even with all of the difficulties that were associated with being an idol. You hadn't realised that your visit had fed into his worries that he wasn’t enough.
“I didn't know,” you say quietly. “I'm sorry.”
“Hey, I didn't tell you how I was feeling and that's on me. I’m the one that’s sorry, you have no reason to be. I should have been clearer about what was going through my mind and it wasn't any excuse for the way that spoke to you. Even if I wasn't at my best, I can't believe that I made you feel like I didn't want you to be around.” Chan shakes his head and you can tell that he's beating himself up about it. This time, you're the one that reaches out to him, grabbing one of his hands in both of yours.
“I am sorry that I put you into that position, though. I got caught up in the idea of how fun and romantic it might be, that I didn't give enough consideration to your schedule. Even though I wanted to surprise you, it would have been better to check with you beforehand. I don't ever want you to have to feel like you have to choose between me and work.”
“It was a really nice surprise,” Chan agrees. “I wish that I hadn't been so wrapped up that I wasn't able to enjoy spending time with you. I really hated not being able to see you these past few weeks.”
“It was really hard for me too,” you admit.
“I missed you so much. I missed your beautiful voice, hearing your laugh, seeing your smile. I missed all the texts that you usually send, they make me feel like I'm not as far away, that I'm a part of your day too. You kept saying that everything was fine and- I know it's hard for you, especially during comeback periods when I'm not as responsive. I didn't want to pressure you into messaging me more often if I'm not able to do the same.”
“No, it's not that. It doesn't bother me. Work was, is still really busy for me,” you explain. “I was trying to tell you that day, but-”
“But I basically shut you down,” Chan realises. He laughs bitterly. “I’m just the worst, aren't I? No wonder you were so confused by why I was here.”
“I thought you were going to break up with me tonight,” you whisper. Chan looks devastated by your statement.
 “No- you know I wouldn't-” Chan stumbles on his words in his haste to correct you.
“I don't think that anymore,” you reassure him. “I understand everything now, it was just that we didn't communicate well and I assumed… It's okay, we're together now, this won't happen again.”
“I promise that I will make it up to you. I love you and I will prove it to you in every way possible. And I'm going to start right now. You still haven't eaten yet, please go ahead.” Chan moves back to his abandoned chair and doles out a portion of the stew from the pot that's on the table. 
“I am really hungry,” you confess. Your stomach chooses that exact moment to growl loudly and the two of you can’t help but burst into laughter. 
Just like that, it feels like things are back to normal.
You know that there's still more that you and Chan have to talk about. The two of you have only scratched the surface on your insecurities, communication, and how those things led to such a significant misunderstanding.
But tonight, it's enough that you get to share a meal with the man that you love.
read it on ao3 | masterlist
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awakefor48hours · 2 years ago
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Shows you should save physically immediately + addition I recommend reading
Over the Garden Wall -- It's being pulled from HBO Max on August 31 and knowing HBO, there's a chance it'll be pulled sooner. *I have now made a Google Drive of all the episodes of OTGW. Please, please, please, PLEASE, save these on a physical device.
The Owl House -- Disney has tried to bury this show many times (giving it a weird release schedule, cutting the budget, etc) and has even cancelled the show. Also, Disney+ is going to nuke their catalogue soon and I doubt TOH will survive*I have now also saved all the episodes of TOH. Click here for the posts with all of the episodes
Amphibia -- I know less about the behind the scenes BS than TOH but Amphibia was screwed over by Disney mainly by poor promotion. Also since one of the protagonist is openly bisexual*, like TOH, I really can't imagine this would survive.*Amphibia has also been saved. Go here for the post with all the episodes.
Steven Universe -- Cartoon Network cancelled Steven Universe and gave it a weird release schedule, it has also just been pulled from HBO Max.
Gravity Falls -- Once again, Disney+ is going to nuke their catalogue at some point in the future and between Wendy being canonically bi, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland being in a relationship, and Alex Hirsch (being the amazing man that he is) constantly calling Disney out on their BS, I imagine that Disney would be more than willing to nuke Gravity Falls. *I’ve also saved Gravity Falls now go to the main post here to see all the episodes.
and most importantly
Every single show, book, game, fanfiction, movie, etc you've ever loved
We now know that at any moment's notice, streaming services can and will just nuke their catalogue without hesitation. If it's digital, it can be removed and there's a likely chance you'll never see it again.
So, please take some time to save anything you love on an external device. It could be a box set (it can be official or fan-made one), a USB, or anything.
If you have a physical copy of something, it's yours forever and no one can take that away from you.
*Edit because I’ve seen some confusion about this. Read this again, it’s “one of the protagonists” not “the protagonist.” Sasha is the one who’s bi, Anne’s sexuality hasn’t been confirmed.
Also in addition to this, people have reblogged this to say Steven Universe is still on HBO. Since I don’t have HBO, I’ve been going off of what people have been saying and I’ve seen it mentioned that HBO was taking off SU. You should still save it though.
*Edit 2 if any of the links here don’t work, check the original post as I might’ve changed/updated them. If that still doesn’t work, send me an ask or DM I’ll give them to you.
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housederiva · 2 months ago
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Here's every version of the letter the Inquisitor gets from their LI plus Varric (which didn't make me cry at all)
If your Inky didn't romance anyone:
Inquisitor, Greetings from miserable, rainy Minrathous! (Don't tell Dorian I called it that.) The rotten weather here is making me nostalgic for Skyhold. The mountains were freezing, but at least the air didn't smell like wet garbage. We'll have to get in another game of Wicked Grace, soon. Harding picked up the trail again. I'd tell you not to worry, but I know how useless that is. Instead, I'll just say: I've got a great team on this. Neve could stare down the Maker, and wait until you meet Rook. He's/She's/They're a natural: Smart, resourceful, completely unpredictable. You'd like him/her/them, as long as you don't try to beat him/her/them at cards. Chuckles'll never know what hit him. I'll write again once we have something solid for you. Drinks at the Hanged Man are on me when this is over. Take care of yourself. Varric
Blackwall:
My love, You have summoned me to Minrathous, and I will answer your call, as soon as responsibilities here in the South allow. I have missed being by your side. Will these troubles be the last we face? The world seems always to conspire, through duty or disaster, to pull you away from me. I do not resent it. You are dedicated to purposes far larger and more significant than myself. I hope you do not think me a fool for hoping that one day, your only concern will be the color you wish our walls to be painted, or the flowers we will plant beside our gate. I'm partial to carnations. Yours always, Thom
Cassandra:
My love, We are no strangers to duty, or the separation it demands of us. You head for Tevinter, and though I want to go with you, there is work we both must do. I will not falter in the tasks that wait before me and I pray my actions, in whatever measure they can, will keep you safe. The others see only confidence in my resolve, but you have always known more than mere appearance. I confess to you, and you alone, that I am afraid. I'm afraid of what may happen, that Thedas will face such turmoil as it did before. I know not what awaits us. Yet even in the face of uncertainty, there are two things I cannot doubt and never will. The first is that our paths are never separated long. That I will find you at my side when I need you, as you will find me at yours. I will play my part in this and follow as soon as I can. The second thing I never doubt is you. Whatever lies before you, trust yourself. Trust your heart as I trust it. It will not lead you astray. Yours, Cassandra
Cullen:
The top of the letter has been punctured by small, sharp teeth, leaving most of a beloved name and a few sentences chewed to read. I fear the puppy started on this letter shortly after I did. I'd start over, but I must send this tonight if it's to reach you. Matters are settled here and I make for Tevinter as soon as possible. I almost believed chaos might spare us this time. I can't say I wished to see Minrathous before now, but I am eager to see you. I long to see your face and know that you are all right. You are I've There's I wish I was better at putting into writing all that's in my mind. For now, simply know that I love you. It is the most cherished constant of my life. The days ahead will not be easy. I know there's much you carry, more than many realize. But whatever you must face, you will not meet it alone. You have my sword, my counsel, my - I could write this list forever when all I mean to say is this - Whatever you need of me, I am yours. Cullen
Dorian:
Amatus, I'm writing. Again. Yes, the sending crystals still work and yes, you'll be in Minrathous in a few short weeks. But a letter, written in blind longing, is real. It can be touched, and it can be held, when ink and paper must substitute for your skin on mine and my breath in your ear. I used to scoff at frequent declarations of affection. Trite, I thought. Save them for rare and precious moments. But time and love are no longer things I care to squander, especially not as we race again toward calamity. And so, in each of these fleeting, ephemeral seconds, I will tell you that I love you. Whether penned or spoken, or conveyed by glance or action, I love you. In this moment, and in all the moments to come, for as long as they do, I love you. I will find you soon. Yours, Dorian
Iron Bull
Hey, Kadan, Not the first time we've marched toward different battles. I know you're keeping the crap from catching fire up in Tevinter. Wish I could be there, but I'll make sure there's a world for you to come back to when you're done dealing with crazy vints and stupid Antaam and whatever other crap Solas kicked up. (Shit, the Antaam. Remember when I was worried what would happen if I went tal-vashoth? That right there!) I know you're gonna be careful, and you've got Morrigan there. Just take care of yourself. If anything happens to you, I'm going to have to take Krem and the Chargers and stomp across all of Tevinter to come get you. It'll be a whole thing, and you know it'll upset Dorian. Being apart from you made me realize something else. I spent so long being whatever the Ben-Hassrath wanted me to be. An investigator. An agent. A mercenary sending reports. These past years, since the Inquisition ended, I've been able to just be what I want to be. And what I really want to be is yours. I like the person I am when I'm with you. So come back safe. Love, The signature appears to be a stylized rendering of the Iron Bull's head.
Josephine:
My Dearest Lord/Lady, I have spoken to friends in Minrathous. They offer us their hospitality, not to mention shelter from the worst intrigues of the Archon's Palace. While you're well acquainted with the roving eyes of grand courts, please take care. Tevinter's regard can be the oldest and cruelest of them all. The family writes the weather back home is beautiful. I do miss our quiet times together. There is a question I've wanted to ask you for so long. I would like to pretend I have been busy, or it was not the proper time. But, if I am being honest, I only waited because I have been afraid of choosing a poor moment. Please, let me make a promise to you here. When we return to Antiva, I will ask you, on the steps of the estate, if you will do me a great honor. And I dream you will say yes. Always yours, Josephine Postscript: I cannot believe it nearly slipped my mind. Yvette and Lord Otranto send their best wishes, and hope to see us back home in time to welcome their third child.
Sera:
(An artistically doodled journal page presumably from the Inquisitor's partner, Sera.) Keep this as close as I need you. (A drawing of a pile of flowers, with lines like it's moving, an arrow pointing to it labeled "us.") - North again, Mini-wrathus still stuck up its own pucker. - Magiturds are scared of us. They don't even know. - We work with Maevaris, right? She's wow. - So many Friends! Jennies in all the walls! - We kill him this time. He took from us twice! (A drawing of a cracked egg scribbled out, with "can't even joke" in letters that tore the page.) - Still thinking of you sideways. - Never mind the Dalish, here's the Veil Jumpers! Tempest-kin! (A drawing of a tall, shorthaired elf (Sera?) and Irelin brandishing two fingers, backflipping as a tree explodes in runes.) - The memory thing makes my head spin. If that Rook doesn't take it, throw it out. - Tell Morrigan ppbbth! for me. - I'll also tell her ppbbth! She knows why. - Tell them to Stripe. Him. Up. I wanted more books. (More heavy scribbles that tear.) - You meet; I'll keep you safe. Then I'm your time off, and you're my time on. (The last section has different colored inks, like Sera has returned to it several times.) New naked names: -Sweet-tits (scribbled out) -Bestest (scribbled out) -Loverly (scribbled out) -Lovey (scribbled out) -My-for-always-and-ever - name's not too long, time's too short. -But "Sweet-tits," though (scribbled out)
Solas:
Vhenan, I do not know if you will see these words. My ritual is ready and will soon be set in motion. Perhaps when you read this the world will be as it once was, and you will see why all I did was necessary. I cannot ask your forgiveness, but I hope you come to understand. That night in Crestwood, when I shared the truth about your vallaslin... you do not know how close I came to breaking. I could have shared the truth, or even put my plans aside and simply stayed with you as Solas... as I wanted. I regret the pain I caused you. What I feel for you will never change. The note is unsigned, but the handwriting is Solas'.
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cocklessboy · 2 years ago
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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xinganhao · 2 months ago
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🍨 svt spoiling their partner.
★ prompt: how ot13 spoils their partner? 🥹🥹🥹 i am just a girl give me treats c/o @shinwonderful
ⓘ established relationship, pet names, fluff. headcanons under the cut. special thanks to @chugging-antiseptic-dye for helping! ♡
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🍨 read more?
seungcheol 𖹭 planning dates. he will refuse to let you lift a finger for your day out. everything will be meticulously laid out, finetuned to be something that you'll enjoy. his goal is to lessen the mental load of decision-making and planning; he wants you to be able to focus solely on enjoying the surprise, and he'll break his back to make sure that happens.
jeonghan 𖹭 'parallel play'. even if the two of you might not be interested in the same things, that's okay. he's happiest to spend quality time with you at home, where the two of you are free to do your own thing within eachother's presence. just being in your vicinity already makes him content, and so he plans everything around the two of you getting to explore and share your respective hobbies.
shua 𖹭 acts of service. need help with your taxes? need someone to fill up your tank? he's already on it. he'll say that these are all 'little things', call it the bare minimum, when it's apparent that he makes it a conscious effort to make your day-to-day easier. his brand of spoiling you comes in the form of quietly doing things that will improve your quality of life.
junhui 𖹭 buying clothes you'll like. he can't help it, really. when he sees an article of clothing that he thinks suits your style? when he finds a local brand that shares your advoacy? he's already pulling out his wallet. he likes the idea of dressing you up. nothing makes him happier than knowing you're wearing an outfit that he entirely picked out for you.
soonyoung 𖹭 daily reasons why he loves you. people always joke that he has a bit of a motormouth, so why shouldn't he use it on talking about you, you, you? he's big on words of affirmation, on making sure you never doubt how he feels for you. he'll point out the little and big things that make him adore you, and it's never the same reason twice.
wonwoo 𖹭 indulging your interests. he may not always understand these trends— blind boxes, must-have fashion pieces, et cetera— but he'll never make you feel bad about it. if there's anything that you want, he's already doing everything within his power to get it. his greatest joy is seeing your face light up once he's gotten you your 'priority' item; it's why he keeps doing it in the first place.
jihoon 𖹭 trying new things for you. there's a long list of things that jihoon never thought he'd do, but then he started dating you. time and time again, he willingly goes out of his comfort zone to accompany you on the little adventures and experiences that you ask to go on. he does these things scared, does them anxious, does them begrudgingly,— does them all for you.
seokmin 𖹭 meals he thinks you'll like. he's the type to have dozens of tabs open for homemade recipes dot com. he knows he's an amateur at this, but he's undeterred in trying. whether it's a trending pastry on tiktok or the comfort meal that your mother makes you, he's determined to learn it so you're always eating well.
mingyu 𖹭 getting-to-know card games. he gives as good as he takes, which means mingyu's way is to listen and remember. a night where the two of you can just have deep conversations with no interruptions is his ideal evening. he will know he succeeded if the two of you end up talking until the sun rises, feeling like the hours haven't passed at all.
minghao 𖹭 postcards from tour stops. he loves art and he loves you. his postcards are pocket-sized reminders of those facts, always packaged with a few choice words that are sweet and sincere. his trinkets are very "i-got-you-this-because-it-reminded-me-of-you" in nature, and you know each one was purchased with you at the front of mind.
seungkwan 𖹭 getting you your favorites. he figures he should put his industry connections to use somehow. he's always amused by how happy you get over a rare photocard, signed album, or concert tickets, and so he keeps it up. buying dozens of albums, contacting other labels, bearing the arduous ticketing. your excitement at the end of it makes it all worth it.
vernon 𖹭 producing songs. he hadn't really pegged himself as the making-music-for-the-sake-of-it type until he met you. now, he revels in getting to send you a track that's for your ears only. all the lyrics just seems to flow naturally when it's you inspiring him, and so he sends you works-in-progress with reminders that you're the only intended audience.
chan 𖹭 at-home massages. he's all too familiar with the aches of an ailing body, so he knows exactly how and where to work on you. he always does what he calls 'the works'— a good bath, scented candles, essential oils. he lets you take your time, and he takes his time with you in helping you unwind.
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› scroll through all my work ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ my masterlist | @xinganhao
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occudo · 5 months ago
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An incomplete list of TMA fics I adore
-beacuse of this ask
(If you liked the fics I previously recommended/made fanart for, I think you'll gonna like these as well, but you know, read the tags, know what you are going into)
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Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey @cirrus-grey
Time Travel Fix-it! Slow burn! So good! So much sass from future!Jon- I doubt I have to introduce anyone this amazing author, but if you somehow missed them till now, this is your time! I highly recommend all of their other fics as well, for example one of a more recent one, The Stranger I Know Best is also a lovely read.
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enthralling by Prim_the_Amazing @primtheamazing
Vampire!Martin!! I have no words of how much I love this concept, this story, everything about this. I think I'm going to repeat myself through this list, but I also recommend everything else they've written!
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to fill... my heart with music? by godshaper @godshaper so their Martin and Jon design are different from mine, also they made a way better art for this- but still, I wanted to include this really good fic in this list.
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Do It All Anew by inkfingers_mcgee or @crit20art
You know the feeling when you read a book that makes you cry, and after that you recommend it to your friend? Well- there is no reason I mentioned this, I'm just so normal about this fic. Or any other fic from inkfingers_mcgee... like Strange Manner of what I made another fanart way back. Also, check out their art!
Anyway, here is Aamal- she is not going to cause emotional damage.
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And they were sidekicks (oh my god, they were sidekicks) by arthureameslove @arthureameslove
A lighthearted series where Jon and Martin are sidekicks of supervillains- it's just a really fun fic, also recommend everyting from this author - I previously draw fanart here for an other fic of theirs Like a Lighthouse, Call Me Home
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neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well by saintbleeding @saintbleeding
To quote the aurthour: "Post-divorce Jon and Martin in a wedding-based romcom" It's such a comfort read, also has a Tim/Sasha wedding, and lots of cameos! I realised most of these authors I made fanarts for before- like this one for some kind of miraculous bind, this one is oneshot and a bit more serious in tone.
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Give Me the Words by rakel @rakel-on-ao3
"Jon and Martin try to make the most of a bad situation in the Scottish Highlands. The situation is worse than they realised." You know that one post about wanting to write PWP, but it keeps turning into character study? Well, this one comes to my mind each time I see that.
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i wanna find a home (i wanna share it with you) by heartshapedguy @transgenderboobs
So what would have happened if instead of the cot (tm), Jon offered Martin his own flat to stay? There is no way it's going to change their relationship, right? Such a good read, if you want some fluff, I highly recommend it!
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Lucky Stars by magnetarmadda @magnetarmadda
Martin has a lovely family (except his mother) but still, he needs a fake boyfriend, and Jon comes to the rescue. It's one of the first fics I remember reading after I finished the series. It is such a comfort read of mine~
(+enjoy a rare tall Jon from me)
There are so many more fics that also deserve the spotlight, these are just the ones I read multiple times and/or didn't made fanarts for before. If you find something here you like, give them some love! Kudos and comments! They deserve it. (Also, just an extra disclamier some of these are PWP or rated T- just mind the tags)
I tried to link and tag everything, I hope it works.
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myownwholewildworld · 4 months ago
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THE RIGHT KIND OF WRONG ― dbf!mechanic!joel oneshot
series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3 pairing: dbf!mechanic!joel x f!reader. summary: your car breaks down and you make a deal with your dad's best friend, joel, who happens to be the best mechanic in town. you'll work for him over the summer holidays to pay your debt back, but maybe you can find a pleasant shortcut to it? a/n: well, well, well... what can i say? this whole uniformed!joel shit is giving me proper brain rot. i don't know what came over me while writing this but i just rolled with it. i do appreciate any notes you may wanna leave to keep me motivated hehe. enjoy! x edit: forgot to mention this oneshot was prompted by this ask! warnings: 18+, mdni. no outbreak AU. juicy age gap (reader is 21, joel is 48). rough, ABSOLUTE filth & i'm not even sorry. some edging. semi-public groping? masturbation (f and m receiving). oral (f and m receiving). pussy pronouns (she/her). unprotected piv. mouth fucking. very mild brat taming kink. transactional sex. alternating pov. reader is female but that's about it. w/c: ~8.9k of pure filth. divider by @cafekitsune
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“Ugh, not again, c’mon!”
Your cranky little car did not have it in it anymore. It was almost fifteen years old now, having passed down from your older brother to you when you turned sixteen five years ago. Out of pure frustration, you hit the steering wheel with the palm of your hand and let out a raspy grunt.
The check engine light had lit up on the dash, which was what caused your fit. And then, as if orchestrated by the universe, the engine made a loud, clicking noise. You flattened your forehead against the wheel, your fingers curling around the rubbery texture with a tight grip.
“You stupid car!”, you screamed at it as if it was a sentient being. “I’m broke, you cannot die on me like this!”
You were on the parking lot of a café. Early that afternoon you had met with some friends to celebrate the beginning of summer and the end of the academic year. One more and you would be done with your degree ― it looked so damn far away, but you still had this summer to look forward to.
Rummaging through your purse, you finally located your cellphone and quickly dialled your dad.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, dad. I’m at Betty’s. The fucking light has come on again?!”
“Watch your mouth!”, he reprimanded you from the other side of the line. You could hear him huff and puff with disapproval. “I think your car is on its last legs, gonna have to think about buying one.”
“You know I can’t afford that, all my savings are going into my degree. I’ll just have to get it fixed for now.”
“Take it to Joel’s then. See what he thinks.”
“But it’s a Sunday, you think he’ll be open?”
“That man is a workaholic, you bet his business is open today.”
“Alright, you reckon he’ll do it for free?”
“For free?” He laughed; you could imagine him shaking his head. “I doubt it, but maybe he’ll give you a discount. Gotta go, little bug. I’ll see you at dinner. If you can make it, obviously.” He mocked you.
“Ha, ha… So funny. Talk to you later.” And you hung up.
The drive to Joel’s garage was a fucking torture. Every time the engine made a squealing noise, your heart would jolt to your throat. You tried to encourage it, whispering sweet nothings in the hopes it would get appeased and make it to Joel’s repair shop.
You also got distracted by your filthy mind. Joel had been in your DILF radar since you were nineteen. Three years ago, your dad celebrated his 45th birthday with a barbecue in the middle of summer. Joel had turned up in a white tee shirt, khaki shorts and flipflops, with untamed silvery curls and a crate of beer under his arm.
When the Texan heat became unbearable, he had stripped himself of his clothes, fashioning a pair of short swim trunks that had left you breathless and wet. When you watched him get out of the water later that afternoon, you could have sworn that the tip of his dick had shown briefly before he discreetly tucked it away. That image had been burnt into your retinas and haunted you since then.
Unconsciously you licked your bottom lip, your core molten with slick, as the car came to a halt. You had arrived at your destination.
There was an old Ford at the front of the garage, someone working under the hood. When the driver’s door of your car slammed against the frame, Joel peeked up from the engine he was working on.
His eyes flickered with recognition. He grabbed an old rag to clean his big, veiny hands of grease and oil. You wondered what else would be big and veiny. Stop it, you dirty fucker, you told yourself.
“Hey, Joel!” You waved at him with a smile.
“What’s up, kiddo?”
You rolled your eyes at him, the grin staying on your plump lips.
“I’m not a kid anymore, Joel. Have not been for a long time now, y’know.” You punctuated, unsure of what you were trying to achieve with that comment. Well, you knew, but did not want to admit it to yourself.
“Oh, I know”, he husked, his voice suddenly gruff.
Tilting your head to one side, you looked at him with question marks in your pupils. Why had he accentuated that “know”? And why all the sudden was your cunt gushing? How could he make you wet with three simple words? You were going to need to request a booty call that night from your friend with benefits.
“Uh, uhmm”, you laughed nervously. “The engine light on my car has come on for the third time this week and the motor is making weird noises, could you check it out for me, please?”
“Sure thing, lemme see.” He took the keys from your hand, electricity cracking between you.
You pursed your lips, a gesture he did not pick up on. Joel walked to the driver’s side, activated something and then the hood popped open. He walked around to the front of the car and propped the hood up with the metal rod that was inside.
As Joel was inspecting the motor with his broad hands, you put one foot in front of the other in a vain attempt to rub your knees together and cause some friction in your needy cunt. You squeezed your thighs some more as you watched him work with his hands, and you imagined what it would feel like if he was working you instead.
Oof! Take it down a notch, girl, you thought to yourself when your clit twitched in desperation.
Then Joel turned around to look at you.
“When was the last time you changed the timing belt?”
“The... what now?” Your mind was hazy with lust, but even if you had been at your full mental capacity, you wouldn’t have known what he was talking about.
“The timing belt. In the engine. What ensures that the camshaft and crankshaft rotate in sync?” He looked at you with a cocked brow, cleaning his hands again on that old rag.
Oh, I would pay big bucks to be that rag.
“Are you even speaking English?”, you replied back, partially because you really had no idea what he was talking about, partially because your brain was all mushy with desire.
“I’ll take that as a ‘never’ then. You should really get it replaced, seems like that’s your problem. Have you had trouble starting the car?”
“As a matter of fact, yes, this very morning.”
“Yeah, sounds like it. You need to change it asap, if it breaks while you’re driving it would be bad, very bad. You could have an accident. Also trying to fix it after it’s broken will cost you even more.”
“So… will I need to break the bank?” You asked, already flinching at the idea.
Joel seemed to take a second to consider your options, leaning against the passenger’s door and scratching his scruffy beard.
“It’ll be $800.”
Your heart almost stopped, your mouth agape.
“Eight fucking hundred?” He nodded. “Well, can I― Can you not give me a bit of a discount here? You are best friends with my dad. Pretty please?” You laced your fingers together in a prayer and batted your eyelashes at him.
With a low grunt, he straightened his back and folded arms at his chest.
“I’m already giving you one. I would usually charge $1100. You’re already getting a bargain.”
“Well, what about $300?” You counteroffered.
Joel’s brows knitted together and then loudly scoffed.
“What? You think I’m a fucking charity? No, kiddo. $800 and that’s it. If I go any lower, I’d be losing money. Got a business to run here.”
You really did not have $800 bucks to spare. In fact, you barely had five hundred bucks to your name. Asking your family for money was not an option either ― not because you were proud (you were), but because money was tight. Your parents already had enough struggles as it was, you did not want to add to the pile.
You visibly pouted and stumped one foot against the gravel, vexed. A loud sigh slipped through your lips as you pressed the heel of your hands against your eye sockets. You needed the car.
Dropping your hands to your sides, you looked at Joel with puppy eyes, covering the distance that was between you. Pleading, you palmed his strong forearm, your fingers wrapping around the girth of his muscles.
For a brief second, you wondered if you would be able to fully grip his erection. Would your fingertips be able to touch your thumb? Or would he be so thick you would need both hands to handle him?
“Joel, pl―please?”, you stammered, your arousal playing games with your vocal cords.
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Unwillingly, he scanned your body up and down ― slowly, taking his time, pondering his options.
Joel had wanted to fuck you for three years now, since your lustful eyes widened at the sight of only his tip on that dreadful summer day. He could vividly remember the way you had chewed your bottom lip as you watched him slide his cock back in his swim trunks, shamelessly, without blinking. You only stopped devouring him when someone talked to you, snapping out of your trance.
That night, when he got home, he had jerked himself off with you in his mind. He had imagined your plump lips sealed around his glans, the tip of your tongue playfully caressing the slit ― your sparkly eyes looking up at him, dreamy and teary, imploring. He had taken his sweet time, rejoicing in his fantasy, until he had spilled in the palm of his hand, as if he was a hormonal teenager. And every time he would fuck someone to find relief, he would visualize your cunt sheathing him, clamping down on his dick like a beartrap.
Ever since then, every time his eyes landed on you, his blood would boil and his cock would harden. Just like now, dick pounding against his boxers, begging to be paid due attention. With the eyes of his imagination, he saw himself letting go and throwing you into the back of your car, drilling your pussy relentlessly until you came wailing, asking for more.
Joel sucked in his breath ― he needed to calm down, distract himself with something else. You were his best friend’s daughter. He shouldn’t be daydreaming about fucking you stupid. He had seen you grow since you were a babe.
Never thought of you any other way until that fateful barbeque, when he realised you were a full grown ass woman. Suddenly he had seen you for what you were: a fuckable brat who could get his cock rock-hard with the simple lick a of a lip.
An idea formed as you begged him. You looked desperate ― desperate enough to him at least.
Joel cracked his tongue, his expression unwavering. But if you could see, you would know his cock was throbbing already.
“Well. I do have an idea.” His words dragged, his erection making him feel uncomfortable.
“You do? I’m all ears!” You exclaimed with a lopsided grin, your delicate fingers tighter around his forearm.
His head snapped to his right, pointing to a sign that read “Hand Car Wash”.
“If you help out all summer handwashing cars, I’ll consider part of your debt paid”, he explained, looking down at your hand touching him.
“In full?” You eyed him as if he was your goddamn saviour and that unsettled him.
“I said part of it, kiddo. I’ll leave it at $300.”
You batted your eyelashes at him. Did you know that your suggestiveness was wreaking havoc?
“Anything I can do so the $300 reduces to zero?”
“I’ll think about it”, he reluctantly conceded. Joel had a few ideas in mind, but none of them were precisely appropriate. Not for a twenty-one year old to do with a forty-eight year old at least, that was for sure. “Be here tomorrow at 9 AM, sharp. The team works from nine to twelve, Mondays to Fridays.”
You frantically nodded, almost squealing in excitement. The noise you made forced his cock to twitch. He could make you squeal too, only if you would let him.
“I’ll be here! Thanks, Joel.”
Before he could think, you let go of his forearm and hugged him close to your chest. To your round breasts. Those two meaty globes he wanted to palm so badly. He could swear your nipples were stabbing at him. You embraced him so close to your body, his bulge pressed gently against your lower belly, and he wondered if you could feel him.
And then you stepped back. Quickly, too quickly for his liking.
“You’ll need to leave your car here, don’t want you driving back in that junk. I’ll have a look at it tomorrow. I’ll give you a lift back”, he offered. “Lemme close first and I’ll be right back in five minutes.”
“No probs, take your time.” You smiled at him as you went back to your car to grab your things.
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Soon you were on the passenger’s seat of Joel’s pickup truck. It was dusking on the horizon, the light scattering through the windshield. Joel put down the visor so he wouldn’t get blinded by the sun.
“So how’s college going?” His attempt at small talk made you smile.
“It’s good, hard but good. The first year was really bad though. I didn’t know anyone there, so had to make friends and everything.” You mentioned, shrugging, while mindlessly playing with your seatbelt.
“I’m sure you had no problems making friends”, Joel said distractedly, checking all the mirrors before turning at the streetlight.
You placed your elbow on the window frame, the back of your head resting on your palm, and you turned to look at him.
“How are you so sure?” You asked, curious to see what his take on you was. The man was like a brick wall.
“You’re so vivacious and talkative. You’re not the shy kind either, always were part of the popular group in high school, weren’t you?” You nodded, but he didn’t see you, all focused on the road ahead. “Bet’cha you have all the boys running after you.”
Well, that was unexpected. For both you and him, because you saw how his jaw clenched. It was almost imperceptible, but you were so aware of his every move, your body so in tune with his, you couldn’t have missed it.
Had he noticed you? Like, actually? Was it possible that Joel fucking Miller, your freaking dad’s best friend, could look at you with other than paternal eyes? Why would he make hat comment otherwise?
Your cunt, still wet from your previous innocent interaction, fluttered. You had no butterflies in your stomach ― they were actually clapping their fragile wings in between your legs. This man was a fucking menace to your senses, and he seemed oblivious to the effect he had on you. Or did he? Time to find out.
You giggled at his question and patted his upper thigh a couple of times, as if he had cracked the best joke you had ever heard. The pad of your fingers almost caressed his groin, that sweet dip where his thigh met his pelvis. The denim under your touch suddenly stretched as Joel flexed his leg, trying to release the tension that had rapidly built up.
You bit your bottom lip as he peered at you askance, your hand still too close to his crotch.
“I actually do, but none of them seem good enough, y’know? I want a man, not a boy”, you ventured, your top teeth sinking further in the soft pillow of your bottom lip.
You saw Joel sucking in his breath ― and the grin in your face grew. He was definitely not immune to you, at least not as much as you had originally thought. He looked so unattainable, always so distant, you had wondered if, in his eyes, you had never grown up.
“Do you now, kiddo?” He asked between gritted teeth, tone throaty.
His brown eyes drifted down for one second, watching the tips of your fingers rubbing the denim of his jeans slightly, and then he locked them back on the road. You heard a low grunt vibrating in his throat, although he tried his best to suppress it.
“Yeah. I’m sick and tired of stupid childish boys. They are just boring now, they lack― well, you know.” You let him brew with your unfinished sentence and removed your hand from his lap.
You could tell Joel finally was able to breathe again as his chest expanded slowly. His reaction to you left a prickling sensation in your pussy ― wet, throbbing, needy. You pressed your knees together, but what you really wanted was for him to reach for you and dunk his thick fingers in your slit.
“Your dad’s there.” He stated, succinct, after clearing his throat.
You looked over your shoulder and through the window to realise that, in fact, you had arrived home. Your father was already waiting for you on the porch, probably because he recognised the noise of Joel’s truck’s exhaust pipe. And then he started walking towards you.
You suppressed a pouting grimace ― you wanted just a few more minutes alone with Joel. A few more moves and, who knew? Maybe you would have him fingering the shit out of you. But thanks to your father, you would never find out.
Your father knocked on the passenger’s window and you rolled it down, smiling. Although what you really wanted to do was smack him for interrupting.
“Hey, dad.”
“Hey, sweetie. How’s the car?”
“Well…” You looked at Joel ― you had already forgotten what was it that needed replacing.
“The timing belt is going. Bit expensive but your daughter and I have reached an agreement. Will reduce the price for her but she’s gotta come work on the hand-wash business”, he explained, matter-of-factly.
“Sounds ‘bout right. Get your first taste of what the real world is like.” Your dad laughed at his own occurrence, while your mind drifted far, very far.
“I’d love to get a taste.” You answered feigning innocence, turning your face to Joel with a very wide smile painted on your mouth.
His eyes darkened, transfixed on yours. Oh, he knew exactly what you meant. He subtly stirred on his seat and you wanted to giggle so bad, but refrained.
“Hey, Joel. There’s a game on tomorrow night. You wanna come over? Can have something to eat, few beers, will be fun. I need the company, God knows this lady over here just complains while scrolling through her social media”, he pointed towards you with his thumb and you simply rolled your eyes at him.
Watching football with your old man was as boring as it got. However, if Joel Miller was there, he would have your undivided attention. Well, not him, the screen, obviously. Duh.
Your eyes shot to his, expectant. Your cunt was even more anticipative of his answer.
“Yeah, why not?”
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Famous last words. That was Joel’s only thought as soon as he entered his best friend’s home. You greeted him at the door, all smiley and welcoming, ignoring the fact that you had been trying to get him hard the. whole. fucking. day.
You had come to work with some very short jeans ― every time you bent down to rub the sponge on the car’s bodywork, the bottom part of your perfectly round ass cheeks would show beneath the denim. Did you even wear any underwear? He thought not.
And then that white crop top was the fucking end of him. You had gotten it all wet when a loaded sponge dripped all over your front while you were talking to him about some trivial thing he could no longer remember. You had tittered and apologised while you scrunched it to get as much water out as possible. And the only thing he had been able to focus on were your pointy nipples, staring right at him, screaming for his caress.
After that, he had been at full mast the whole damn shift.
“Hi, Joel, come in!” You greeted him excitedly, swinging the door open.
He had taken a cold shower before coming over, but maybe what he needed was a fucking ice bath. Because the moment you batted your eyelashes at him, his cock twitched again. Joel had fisted his dick while showering, in the hopes that emptying his nuts before seeing you again would placate his lust for you.
Nope, hadn’t worked. Not one bit. This was probably a bad idea.
“Hey, kiddo.” He greeted you, emphasizing the last word.
He could literally be your fucking father, but that did not seem to deter you. If anything, it spurred you on. Had you no shame? Had he no shame? Because he should have stopped you the moment you started to be suggestive. Instead, he had let you go on, enjoying every single second of it.
Joel walked in and made his way to the kitchen, with you on his heels, where your father was lathering up some ribs with his secret sauce recipe.
“Hey, Joel. Let me get that from you”, he said before cleaning his hands on a kitchen towel and grabbing the beer crate from him.
Feeling they were still cold, his best friend cracked two open and handed him one. Joel lifted the can to his lips and saw you looking at him from the corner of his eye.
“Want one?” he asked, since you were of legal drinking age.
You shook your head no, wrinkling your nose in disgust.
“Eww, nah. I hate beer”, you sniggered and his dick spasmed some more.
“‘Course you do”, said your father before he could reply. “You only drink― What’s that crap again?”
“Gin and tonic, dad. It’s literally gin and tonic mixed. It’s not that fancy.” You huffed and puffed, shaking your head.
“This youth mixing everything because they can’t have proper alcohol. What’s next? Mixing beer with lemonade or something like that?”
“Well, that’s actually a thing. It’s called a shandy. Don’t be so old.”
Joel let you two have a go at each other. Observing the exchange, he sat down on one of the stools in front of the island, knees slightly bent.
“What?! You listening to this, Joel?” You father exclaimed with a joking tone. “Is Sarah like this too?”
“Yeah, exactly like this. Thinks beer is disgusting and everything. Thought I raised her better than that, but apparently not.” He jested, sipping from the tin can.
“How’s she doing?” His friend asked.
“She’s fine. She’s turning twenty-four in a couple of weeks. She moved out two months ago, gone to Houston for her new job.” He couldn’t help but be proud of his Sarah. She had accomplished so much. “She’s supposed to be here for her birthday, but we’ll see. She’s always so busy, don’t really know with what.”
“Aren’t they all? I barely see this one over here and she still lives under my roof.”
You folded arms, rolling your eyes again, while you sat down beside Joel on another stool.
“Sorry for having a social life? Like, what do you want me to do? Stay here with you watching football? Got better things to do, dad.”
“So you ain’t staying tonight then?” Your dad asked.
Joel turned to study you, interested in your answer. Could he have some reprieve tonight?
“Of course I’m stayin’. Would be rude not to when we have guests over, right, Joel?” And as the last words abandoned your mouth, you placed your left hand on his right thigh under the counter.
God have mercy.
Joel’s muscles stiffened, one in particular more than the others. His thighs were tense as he gripped the beer can with more strength than what was necessary. He kept his eyes to the front, taming his breathing.
He should have done something, slapping your hand away from his lap for instance. But he didn’t. And you took that as an invitation, because soon enough you were kneading his bulge under the kitchen island. Your palm rubbed harshly against the denim, and he saw you chewing your bottom lip.
Your father busied himself with seasoning the ribs and the French fries, oblivious to what was happening just a few meters away from him. This feels fucking wrong, but so fucking good, Joel thought to himself, your hand frisking his groin brazenly.
His cock was thudding with desire under his clothing, begging to be freed from its prison. You sensed his desperation, because you quickly tried to clasp your hand around it. Feeling your frustration at the inability of fisting him properly, Joel parted his legs to give you better access. If that was not an open invitation, nothing was.
I’m already going to hell. Joel had to stop himself of sucking his breath in when you started to unzip his jeans. His eyes slightly widened, but that was his only tell.
“So who do you reckon is going to win tonight?” Your father asked as your fingers dipped underneath his boxers.
Your warm skin against his beating cock dulled his senses. Then you took his dick out of his boxers and attempted to circle his girth while working him. Joel had to drink from his beer to shut himself up.
“Not sure, but I’d like for the Longhorns to win”, he spat the words out as best he could given the circumstances.
“Yeah, would be nice seeing our hometown win something this season”, your father continued with the small talk.
Joel’s thighs flexed when you started pumping him decisively. Fuck. He briefly looked down at his erection. It felt too damn good, your tiny fingers gripping him hard as you slowly moved your hand up and down on his lap. The tip of his cock was glistening with precum and you expertly rubbed it on his foreskin with your thumb.
As your father turned around to put everything in the oven, Joel took the chance to look at you. With your gaze averted, you pretended there was something interesting in the wall in front of you, while your right hand was buried underneath your slutty denim shorts. Joel could swear he could hear the squelching sounds your pussy was making while you played with yourself.
“Right, I think this is it. Gotta wait for an hour until everything’s properly cooked. Wanna move to the family room in the meantime?” He happily chattered as he walked around the kitchen island.
You reacted quickly and let go of his shaft. With his lap right under the kitchen counter, Joel hoped to hell his friend would not see anything out of the ordinary.
“Yeah”, he said with a coarse voice. “Need to go to the bathroom first.”
Your father just nodded as he sauntered towards the living room and Joel almost let go a sigh of relief. You simply chortled as you put your left thumb in your mouth, making it obvious that you were tasting his precum.
Joel’s cock jerked on his lap as he whispered a blasphemy. Quickly he tucked away his painful dick back in his boxers and zipped his jeans as he stood up. Then he retreated to the bathroom, needing a fucking moment to find his composure again.
Until he heard you.
“Gonna go get my phone charger, be back in a jiffy!”
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Before Joel could close the door behind him, you slipped your hand in the door gap to stop him from shutting it. You caught him off guard, because he stepped back, brows knitting when he saw you under the door frame.
“What’cha doing?”, he questioned you.
You could feel the rigidity radiating from him. You entered the small bathroom and silently closed the door behind you, both of your hands holding onto the doorknob on your back.
“I came to finish what I started.”
You didn’t give him time to think ― if you did, you knew he would put an end to this. You were too turned on, your cunt beating every time your heart did. Your pussy lips were all wet and puffy ― you could feel your slick trapped between your folds, almost seeping into your panties. You had unleashed the beast and wanted it all for yourself.
So you threw yourself into Joel’s chest, your teeth softly scratching his Adam’s apple as one of your hands found its way back to his cock. He tilted his chin up and groaned at your touch. His pounding dick felt warm and velvety against your palm, so hard from working him under the kitchen counter a minute before.
Once he opened his eyes again, he looked down at you as you gripped his erection with both hands. Slowly you jerked him off, feeling powerful with him on the palm of your hands. Every time you pumped him, your clit would twitch in response. He had not touched you yet and your pussy was already palpitating for him. You could not wait to feel him inside you, stuffing you full.
 “We shouldn’t, your father is right there―”
You could not care less. And to make it evident, you sunk to your knees in front of him, still holding his cock, now at eye level.
Your tongue darted out and you leaned his dick forward until the tip rested flat against your tongue, your hands still working his veiny shaft.
“You were saying?” You asked before briefly pecking his glans.
“Fuck”, was the only thing he managed to mumble.
That was your cue to give free rein to your lust. You nudged his column with the tip of your nose as your mouth drifted down to kiss his balls. Then your tongue slid out in its full extension, and you flattened it against the underside of his cock, slowly lapping at it until you reached the top and sealed your lips around his mushroom head.
Glancing up at him, you saw pleasure softening his features as you took him in further and further down, until his cock reached the natural resistance at the end of your throat. When his tip bottomed out in your mouth, Joel’s eyes found yours. His jaw visibly clenched at the sight of you kneeling in front of him, cock burrowed in between your lips, tears gathering on your bottom eyelids because of how his dick was outstretching you.
You moaned as Joel pulled his hips back, his shaft leaving your wet cavity, now full of precum and saliva. You swallowed to make room as you avidly tipped your head towards him, your lips hunting down his dick again. Slurping so you wouldn’t drown in fluids, you ate his cock like if it was the last edible thing on earth.
At that moment, something shifted in the air. As if Joel, finally, let go of his prejudices and accepted what you were giving him: your mouth to use as he pleased. His fingers hovered over your temples and then they clamped down on your skull as he held you in place.
“Stay still”, he commanded, and you nodded, his cock sitting snugly in your mouth.
His hips moved back and then forward, rocking his dick in and out of your lips. First slow, then picking up a pace. You stayed put throughout while he fucked your mouth mercilessly, palms against your knees like the good girl you were. Then his glans breached your uvula and you inevitably gagged at the intrusion.
He forced you to remain still as he tried to go further down, but there was nowhere for him to go. Your eyes welled up while you fought back the need to cough, almost unable to breathe.
Joel snapped his hips back and your mouth became free. You started panting while trying to catch a breath. Joel cupped your chin up so you would look at him. His sly grin told you he was enjoying himself a bit too much.
“Can tell you’ve not eaten many cocks, have you? Despite pretending to be this slutty brat in front of everyone, hm?” He asked, his voice rumbling in his chest.
“Well, I―” He didn’t let you finish the sentence because as soon as you opened your mouth, he slotted his dick back in between your plump lips.
“I actually don’t wanna hear it.”
Inevitably your cunt gushed at his roughness. He was right though ― you had only given head to two guys before and their cocks did not measure up to his. Your jaw had actually started to hurt now due to the effort you were making to house his dick in your mouth.
Joel quickly resumed his pounding, fucking your mouth relentlessly ― his hips swaying back and forth in front of you.
“Sweetie! Can you bring my charger too please?” Your father’s question forced both of you to snap out of the sexual haziness you both were feeling.
You two froze in place, Joel’s cock still in your mouth.
“Or I can come get it.” Then you heard his booted steps coming up the corridor.
In a panic, Joel stumbled back and you sprang to your feet, eyes widened with fear.
“No! Don’t worry! I’m coming!” You shouted back, hoping that your voice sounded far away enough to him.
The steps stopped and you both listened to him walking back to the living room. “Thank you, sweetie!”
You turned to look at Joel, who had grabbed a bunch of toilet roll to clean off the mess on his still throbbing cock.
“Joel, I’m sorry, b―”
“Just go before he changes his mind and comes looking for you”, his voice was strained with effort. His erection had to be painful by now without any relief.
But he was right. You couldn’t risk it. Neither of you could. So with apologetic eyes, you slithered out the bathroom door and ran to your room to snatch a couple of phone chargers.
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Fucking torture that was.
Joel had never been in a worse position than that. Sat on the couch with you, your father on the recliner just a couple of meters away ― and his dick still pulsating, his balls full of unspent cum. His cock would writhe in his boxers, asking for a relief that never came. He was in excruciating pain and was not able to concentrate at all. All the small talk your father did went over his head, didn’t pay attention to the TV’s commentary either.
From time to time, you would graze his thigh lightly ― and on one occasion you slid your naughty hand towards his groin. Luckily the living room was dark, the TV being the only source of light, so your father didn’t pay much attention to your provocations. You quietly kneaded his bulge, curling your fingers around his erection underneath, and it got to a point where Joel had to force your hand away, because he was too close to coming.
So, when he waved you both goodbye and got into his truck, he could literally not wait to get home. Under the dim light of the lampposts that filtered through the windows into the truck’s cabin, Joel freed his aching dick and fisted it from the base. With his head tilted back against the headrest, he furiously jerked off ― fast and with no measure, to the point it was almost hurting. Tension built up from his nuts upwards and when Joel finally got relief, he groaned audibly as his cum spurted out in white, thick streaks.
With a heavy sigh and some laboured breathing, he opened his eyes, looking for some tissues to clean the mess on his lap. As he was putting his cock back in his boxers, something caught his attention.
The darkness camouflaged you well, but he spotted you on the window of your room, watching him eagerly with half-lidded eyes and chewing your bottom lip. Then your head leaned forward, your chin almost touching your chest, and Joel suddenly understood what was happening. You had been touching yourself while observing him do the same thing, until you orgasmed too.
Your eyes locked on each other’s through the blackness, something dark and perverted floating in the atmosphere. The whole thing felt wrong. The right kind of wrong.
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The next week had been a continuous dance between the two of you. You too suggestive, him too evasive. After you had seen him wanking in his car, you had thought you had him under your spell. He had looked like a damn teenager chasing his release, unable to contain it much longer.
But you couldn’t blame him ― you had had him on edge for almost five hours. First touching him under the counter, then sucking his dick in the bathroom, and finally kneading him on the couch with your dad only two meters away.
It all had affected you too, because as soon as you had scurried away to your room and had looked out the window, you fingered yourself with your eyes locked on him. You came so hard, that you had to steady yourself on the windowsill, trembling knees and all. And once the orgasm softened its grip on you, you had realised he had been watching you as you rode the last wave of your climax.
So yes, for a week you tried to seduce him again, because you needed to know how it all ended. Having him burrowed down to your guts was a necessity now. However, it got to a point where you almost gave up ― it was draining having to follow him around like a bitch in heat. You still had one ace up your sleeve though. One that you hoped to play this afternoon. Because if you didn’t fuck him today, you were going to lose your shit.
You focused on your task, which was rubbing the soaked sponge on the bodywork of the car. Two other people were doing the same thing on the back, while you were slightly bent over the hood trying to reach the middle. Your breasts brushed against the metalwork, your white tank top completely wet with soapy water, almost transparent now. The coldness was refreshing in the asphyxiating Texan heat and your nipples especially welcomed it, wrinkling tightly and showing through the fabric.
When you straightened, you caught a glimpse of Joel eyeing you intently. But you pretended you didn’t ― maybe you needed to play difficult, show him no interest. Reverse psychology. So for the rest of your shift you just ignored him, fully conscious of how his sight followed you at all times. Let him brew.
Joel didn’t say a word though, didn’t come close to you either. But you heard him wicker while you were openly teasing one of your teammates. Were you trying to make him jealous? Absolutely. So, you giggled and played with your hair at the tasteless joke your colleague told you. It wasn’t funny, but you wanted Joel to listen to your flirting.
Midday came around and the other two people working on the hand wash business said their goodbyes. Joel employed a father and son in the shop too, who left the garage to go home for lunch. And then it was only you and Joel left. Just as you had planned.
“Joel? Can you help me with this, please?” You politely asked him after lifting a bucket full of water up to your chest.
You took a couple of steps forward and the water spilt all over, soaking your shirt completely.
“Shit”, you heard him say under his breath, jogging towards you.
He slipped his arms underneath the bucket to release you from its weight and then placed it back down between both of you.
“What are you doing? You’re gonna hurt your back with such terrible manual handling.” He reprimanded you, tutting.
“Something hurts and it’s not my back, Joel.” You muttered, your fingers wrapping around his wrist to haul him closer to you.
You were done with subtlety. You guided his hand to your pussy and pressed it gently.
“Hurts right here.” The low, needy mumble poured from your lips like honey.
Joel’s eyes squinted just a tad, and his nostrils flared. You saw the inner battle in his chocolate eyes, and you fucking hoped he lost.
Soon you had the answer you had been looking for. The palm of his hand flattened against your crotch, holding you possessively, and pulled you against his broad chest. You couldn’t help but moan when your breasts pressed against him, your taut nipples aching with sensitivity.
“You’re so fucking nasty, kiddo. Been watching you all week, trying to get me hard all over again, haven’t you?” You shyly nodded, biting down your bottom lip as you glanced up at him, his palm rubbing your cunt with determination. “Of course you have, you’re so cock drunk. You loved sucking me, didn’t you?”
You shook your head yes, holding onto the waistband of his jeans. You whimpered when his thumb burrowed in your pants, trying to find your slit over all that clothing unsuccessfully.
“Joel, please.” You begged for mercy, for relief, for something ― anything he could give you, you would take.
“You want me to fuck you, kiddo?” His free hand cupped your chin, tilting your head up, while his thumb kept nudging your damp slit. His mouth hovered over yours as you simply nodded again. “Hm? You want me to destroy your pussy?”
“Yes, yes, YES.” You were already gushing at his dirty talk.
With no more prodding, Joel bowed down and sunk his tongue in your mouth, darting in with the ferocity only a man on the edge could feel. He swept your entire cavity in an open-mouth kiss that left your knees shaking and your pussy throbbing. You moaned into his breath and your tongue lapped at his, the span on his fingers gently covering your neck and squeezing lightly.
Joel’s hand between your legs moved to your ass, pressing you into him. His swollen lump poked at your lower belly intimately and you couldn’t resist the urge to dip your hand in his boxers. He audibly groaned as you attempted to circle his whole girth and failed. Just like a week before, you would need both of your hands around his shaft to properly grip him. You pumped him once, very slow, your hand gliding down till it found his balls.
Joel grunted in the middle of the sloppy kiss and pushed you to go backwards until your body met the back of his pickup truck, which was parked at the end of the driveway. Out of prying eyes, you hoped. Not that you cared that much at this precise moment, anyway.
His beard scratched the skin on your cheek as his lips drifted down to your neck. You looked up to the clear sky before you closed your eyes, giving his pulsing cock a light squeeze that snatched a moan out of him.
Without warning, Joel broke the messy kiss and knelt before you, his hands tugging at the waistband of your shorts with no difficulty. Soon your pants were around your ankles, your panties quickly following, leaving you naked from the waist down. Joel helped you take them off but left your tennis on.
Still on his knees, he peeked up with a devilish smile, then leaned forward and lapped at your mound. A heavy sigh slipped from your lips as your fingers raked his salt and pepper curls. The tip of his tongue brushed the point where your slit started and then licked upwards, his tongue skidding through your skin until it reached your belly button.
You pursed your lips, wanting him to go down, not up. In fact, you pushed him down ever so slightly and the cold of his breath against your wet skin when he laughed made you look down, frustrated.
He kissed the beginning of your slit again and when you thought he was going in, he stopped. You whimpered, thwarted, as he got back up to his feet and towered above you.
“You want me to touch you where it hurts, hm?” He questioned with his lips ghosting yours. “Your pussy? That’s where?”
Not waiting for your reply, his index dunked in your pearly furrow and traced it in its entirety, from your quivering hole to your thumping clit. And then he did it again, for good measure.
“You’re soaking, kiddo. I’ve barely touched you and you’re already dripping.” To emphasize his words, Joel suddenly dived his finger in your opening, a squelching sound making it obvious that you were, in fact, dripping. “You hear that?” He forced his finger out and then back in, the wet, sucking noise even louder this time.
You frantically nodded as he fingered you, his thumb caressing your begging clit as he did. You mewled into his chest, eyes shut, trying to calm the fluttering of your inner walls around his lonely finger. Lonely not for long, because Joel then introduced a second. You held onto his sides, his tee shirt scrunching in your fists, the orgasm building up.
“C’mon, squeeze your cunt for me. Show me how tight you are”, he whispered in your ear as his relentless fingering picked up a faster pace between your legs.
You happily obliged and squashed your walls together around his fingers as he dextrously stroked your g-spot. All of a sudden, a firing sensation built in your clit without warning and the haziness of pleasure took over your senses abruptly. You came hard, very hard, wailing his name as he kept on fingering you until the last wave of your climax washed over you.
What the actual fuck? You thought to yourself, amazed. You rested your forehead against his chest, catching a breath and feeling your arousal wetting your inner thighs.
Still recovering from your unexpected orgasm, Joel picked you up and settled you down on the edge of his truck’s cargo bed. Your feet dangled in front of you, and you parted your legs to make room for him while you wrapped his neck with your arms and licked into his mouth.
“Now I’m gonna eat you raw, kiddo. Give you some of your own medicine.” His hoarse tone gave you goosebumps. Palming both of your breasts over your wet tank top, he pushed you down until your back met the floor of the cargo bed, your legs hanging freely from your knees down. “Is that what you want? This old man feasting on your pussy, on her? ‘S she gonna like it?”
“Joel, please, just― Yes, eat my pussy. Eat her, eat me, please.” You begged with a small voice while you pinched your nipples over your shirt, eyes closed.
And finally, he did. With his hands on your knees to keep them apart, Joel lapped at your cunt in one sweet sweep. Your body trembled with elation, shivers firing down your spine. His tongue caressed all the crevices in your shiny slit, lips puffy and reddened. His thumb found your clit as the tip of his tongue played with your leaking hole, going in and out a few times ― fucking you with his tongue.
You were not able to take it for much longer ― with Joel’s tongue lodged in your creamy fold and your fingers playing with your nipples, you were done for. Soon you came undone, tension growing in your lower belly and molten lava finding its way out. You howled his name, your knees pressing against his head, holding him in place as you came in his mouth. Joel sipped from your fountain, leaving not even one drop behind, your pussy licked clean of your own discharge.
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His turn to find relief.
Even though Joel had been fisting himself while eating you raw, the roughness of his palm could not compare to your warmth. He just knew your pussy would hug his cock just right. And he was dying to find out.
Pushing his work jeans and boxers down to his ankles, he kicked his feet until they came off. Soon his security shoes and socks were kicked to the side too. With renewed energy, Joel jumped on to the cargo bed. You propped your torso up with the help of your elbows to study his erection, wetting your lips unknowingly.
Your eyes lingered on his cock for too damn long and it twitched on his hand.
“Spread your legs, kiddo.”
And so you did without complaints. You stretched your legs, Joel having a perfect view of your glistening pussy. You were so horny, he could literally see your cunt palpitating from this angle. Knelt between your legs, he leaned forward until the tip of his dick brushed against your slit, so damp again it just slid off. Jerking himself off, he nudged your soaked entrance with his mushroom head and your mouth opened, shaping a perfect O.
“So needy, isn’t she? Aren’t you? Playing difficult to catch today, trying to make me jealous with that stupid boy, but in reality, you’re just a desperate brat wanting to get her pussy drilled by her dad’s best friend.” His dirty talk did not stop while he pushed in, your flesh parting to house him until he bottomed out.
Joel moaned, sweat gathering on his brow, his hands on either side of your head. He stood still for a long minute while your cunt fluttered around him, sheathing his whole length. He could feel your inner muscles adjusting to him.
You were so cockstruck you didn’t even reply.
“I’m gonna fuck you now, so take it well, kiddo.” He warned before tilting his hips back and abruptly back in.
You wailed loudly at the first thrust, and Joel had to muffle your screams by covering your mouth with his hand. You licked his palm, but he didn’t let go. He did not want you to alert the neighbours around the garage. His hips bucked against yours and then, after a few teasing shoves, Joel started jackhammering you fast and viciously hard.
You draped your legs around his waist, the heels of your white tennis pushing on his ass cheeks, encouraging to go deeper and quicker. And so he did, uncovering your mouth to replace it with his.
Joel fucked you mercilessly, filthily. He drove his dick in and out of you in quick succession, drilling your tacky pussy. And he knew you were loving every single second of it. Your soft sobs only spurred him on and when your moist pussy clutched around his drumming cock announcing your orgasm, he couldn’t restraint himself for much longer.
He stoically let you come while riding your own climax. His balls tightened and his belly muscles strained, signalling his own relief.
“Where?”, was the only word that he managed to whisper.
Your eyes were still closed, a languid smile lingering on your lips, all blissful and satisfied while he was still fucking suffering.
“In my mouth.” Your reply was almost his undoing.
Joel snapped his hips back, his hard, throbbing cock slipping out. He dragged his body across yours until his thick, hairy thighs were on each side of your head and his nuts were resting on your chin, his ass hanging over your breasts.
“Open”, he husked, raspy and throaty.
Still with your eyes closed, you parted your lips, and Joel shoved his beating cock down your throat unceremoniously. He leaned forward over you ― his hands holding his weight off you, flat against the cargo bed’s floor. And then Joel started fucking your mouth mindlessly, as if it was your cunt ― his testicles slapping against your chin and your eyes welling up.
He could feel your head almost rocking up and down below him with the strength of his thrusts. You only stopped swaying underneath him when your hands grabbed his buttocks, your fingers sinking in his flesh.
With a guttural growl, Joel came undone and his thick cum filled your mouth. You stayed still while the last white ropes spurted out the slit on his tip, finally reaching the bliss he had been chasing for a week.
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Joel lifted his hips off your face and his dick came out of your mouth with a pop.
“Eat it, kiddo.” He requested of you, towering above you.
From this angle, flat on your back and with Joel almost sat on your face, you saw first his balls and then his soft cock hovering over your eyes. What had just happened was filthy, and you loved it, even though you were sure that your throat would hurt tomorrow.
“It’s $300 if I swallow”, you kidded out of nowhere, almost gargling with his cum as your mouth was full of it.
Joel chuckled as he came off you, sitting down on your left.
“Deal”, he agreed.
And so you gulped his cum down, letting it slip down your throat until it landed in your belly. You smiled at him before opening your mouth to show him it was empty.
Joel’s chest rumbled with satisfaction.
“Good girl.”
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starlitscars · 5 months ago
Text
Made of ice
Jackson era! Joel Miller x F! Reader
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Summary: One stormy night in the safety of Wyoming, it occurs to Joel that even though life has turned his heart into a slab of ice, there's a soft, melting spot buried deep inside... Only reserved for you.
Word count: 5.2k
Masterlist
Tags/warnings: MDNI, NSFW, implied age gap, canon-typical violence, Joel Miller needs his own warning, protective! Joel, soft! Joel, angst, fluff, smut, finger sucking, fingering, pet names, praise kink, language, no use of y/n, soft dom! Joel, negative thoughts, dea*h wish, self-doubt, self-confidence issues, Joel is a sweetheart here (but he doesn't think he's worthy of peace), rain, lots of rain, lightning, stormy weather, kinda established relationship, let me know if a tag has gone unnoticed.
Author's note: This is my very first attempt at writing for Joel Miller. I've had the idea in my mind for a few weeks now and it's hard to resist when it comes to him (did I say Pedro Pascal?) So I hope the details are accurate and if you decide to read this one shot, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did while writing it. If you want to be mutuals, I'll be more than glad <3
Divider by: saradika-graphics
Made of ice
You should've seen what you made of him.
The calm, slow beats in his chest are strikingly different from how he remembers them. In fact, he vaguely recalls the way those racing, dreadful patterns had carved themselves into his memory. With a rigid heart made of ice, it was nearly impossible to find the pulse in him, even at his most frightened, disappointed state. 
Joel used to walk into the face of danger with a rifle clutched in his dying grip, a life to save and thousands to destroy, and in all those moments any sign of life was nonexistent in him. There used to be rage, hatred, regret, and frustration... Oh lots of frustration, running through the veins in his body. He used to walk, talk, and breathe. But he wasn't alive.
Now he doesn't find it in himself to call it miracle. But somewhere between the lines, you happened. You happened and fuelled the dying fire in the far corner of his heart. He used to keep it empty and dark, like a deserted house with no furniture, a perfect place for the noises in his head to become loud and maybe help him stand the never-ending days of what everyone called life. 
You entered his life and now most of what he feels in these old veins is warmth, safety and attachment. Yes, he doesn't call it miracle, because his past doings are too  stained and unforgivable to deserve a miracle. To deserve you. The real miracle. The fathomable idea of what it feels to be alive.
Joel feels alive.
Some days, it feels like his wretched past is clawing its way back into his mind, calling those demons to end his days of peace with you. Some nights, he's restless... So terribly restless. What if you get injured on your next patrol? What if the Raiders attack you when you're out of the gates of Jackson? What if something bad happens to you the moment his eyes close? What if these damn what ifs come to life? This old mind tricks him into seeing pictures of what has never happened and probably never will. You always assure him that you'll be careful. He trusts you and your abilities, but he does not trust his fears. Because if life is too good, it scares him. 
It scares Joel Miller, way more than it would if he was trapped in a dark room with all of his fears and demons creeping on the cold hard floor towards him. He'd rather spend every day fighting off the Clickers and Raiders and every nasty threat out there, instead of pacing around the room and waiting to see if your patrols end well or not.
So he has no choice but to either convince Tommy to pick him as your patrol partner every damn time you have to do it – which he makes sure is as limited as possible – or occasionally keep an eye on you from a distance and let his thoughts consume him at the same time. Just like what he's doing now. 
His persistence in being close to you tends to earn him annoyed eye rolls and "She's more capable than that, Joel." comments from his brother... almost all the time. But he simply can't help it, and he thinks that you know it. Because you never complain nor haul him over the coals for his instincts and worries and the immense amount of care his rigid heart feels for you. He's silently thankful for that understanding.
You are safe here, he thinks. Even though he feels restless, his heartbeat has never been this calm. He sits and watches you on nights like this and there's only one thought ringing in his head. All the scolding is worth it. You're sprawled out peacefully on the bed. His bed. It must be straight out of a fucking impossible dream. You're here, in his atmosphere, in his menacing, guilty, dark presence... And you have chosen it knowingly. It's all he can ever ask for. 
The dim moonlight is swimming in through the curtains, casting a soft, silvery shadow over your face. Your hair is falling all around you like you're knowingly doing it... Posing for an artist just to paint this delicate beauty on a canva. 
Despite his bitter mood, a content smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. Tearing his gaze from you, he downs the remaining whiskey and silently places the empty glass on the table, deciding that he needs a short walk to free his troubled mind. One morning, Maria woke up and decided that Joel needs to stay behind and help Tommy in fixing the issues in the town's only library. So you should have another partner for your patrol days for god knows how long. He fucking hates being told what to do. He fought tooth and nail to prevent that, and if you weren't there to stop him, he would as well turn the mess hall into another ruin that needed to be fixed – which only meant more time away from you. 
So it's going to take only two weeks, at worst. Only a terrible fortnight before things go back to normal. It's almost unbelievable how you have managed to awaken a sense of normalcy in him that he hasn't known in decades. Your absence is an instant threat to this normal life.
Maybe it's about time he gets used to it. He's not that weak. He shouldn't let his angers and worries run him. More importantly, he shouldn't ruin your much needed sleep with his usual problems right now. You've still got the weekend. He'll take a walk and be back here before you as much as stir in your deep slumber.
Oh. The damn library.
...
Jackson is eerily quiet in the middle of the night, enveloped by darkness and as isolated as it can be in this corner of the world. It's a stark contrast to how busy the whole community is during the daylight – bustling with happy greetings, careless jokes, movie days, small parties, and lots of work to do. It all asks for social interaction and he deeply hates it.
He hates when every passer-by's attention turns to you every time you step out in the open. He hates how prying eyes rove up and down your frame every time you walk into the bar. He hates how... He shakes his head, almost rolling his eyes at the loudness of these thoughts. Joel has to remind himself that he is the one you hold onto and introduce to everyone in every social gathering. The proud gleam in your eyes always placates him. There's no need to break a jaw in this town... Perhaps.
Lights flicker by the porches and the sound of his boots on the ground is the only sound that disturbs the silence. The sky is clouding over, distantly promising another stormy night in its gloomy wake. Occasional flashes of lightning light up the road and before Joel knows it, he's passing by the Tipsy Bison. It's 3 past midnight, no wonder why its doors are locked and closed. Either way he comes to a halt, letting the gears turn in his head as he opts for a very familiar path.
Your house. It's a short walk away from the bar.
Joel still recalls that day. How long has it been? Five, six, seven months? It feels like yesterday to him.
He'd had a terrible conversation with Tommy, not at all the way he'd planned it on his first day in Jackson. Things got heated up pretty quickly, leaving a bitter taste of rejection lingering on his tongue, the burn of the whiskey only worsening his mood.
"Just because life stopped for you, doesn't mean it has to stop for me..."
The words were ringing in his head as he stormed out of the bar. Shrugging his jacket on, all he wanted was to walk as far away from that area as possible. This affronted, begrudging, irrational sting was boiling in him and in that moment he was more than ready to leave the gates of Jackson even if it called for more danger. Life had really ended for him years ago, but to hear it from Tommy right after the hell he'd went through to find him... It really hurt. 
The pain was resurfacing in rapid tides.
If his boots could dig deeper, get stuck in the snow and propel him into the cold biting blanket of the earth, he'd welcome it. If life had really ended for him, he had to make it make sense by ending himself as well. This... There was this distant melody echoing in the air and cutting through his troubled thoughts. The wind was harsh against his ears, and each step brought the melody closer. 
It really could be the last song that played before his funeral.  
Joel was surrounded by all the colors, and all he could see was white, eyes fixed on the ground. He didn't pay much attention as he bumped into someone. He barely lifted his head to apologize, and then his gaze settled on the crackling fire on the left side of the road. 
Red and orange and yellow hues. It was a fresh contrast. His eyes were hurting from all the white snow.
He came to a halt, mindlessly waving at the person he'd bumped into. A dozen of kids had gathered around the burning logs in a barrel on the porch, rubbing their hands together and listening to the same melody he was entranced by. The same melody that he thought would be his burial hymn.
Joel's eyes followed their excited faces, wondering who they were looking at. He saw you mirroring their hopeful gleams first, and then he registered the guitar on your lap. 
To make the matters worse, you had tilted your head, shooting him a funnily quizzical look. He might've looked weird back then. The town's newcomer, with a permanent scowl on his face, maybe plotting murder as well (considering that it was the main topic in all the words that already flew around about him).
He didn't answer, still dead in his tracks as if he was immobilized by some invisible force. So you shifted in your seat, silently offering him a spot among the children as if to say "You can come over and join us."
He had two choices in that moment, either a polite decline was on the table or a dismissive frown. He looked over his shoulder at the bar and finally opted for the third choice – or so his mind created another choice for him – and he nodded, joining in on your little gathering without as much as saying a word. He really wanted to hear that song.
He never asked whether you knew the words to that song, but that night when he lay in bed and his thoughts were far from the idea that he wanted to bury himself in the snow, he vaguely remembered the lyrics. And it hit him hard, like a punch to the gut.
Yeah, I don't want to hurt
There's so much in this world 
To make me bleed
Stay with me
Let's just breathe
Stay with me
You're all I see
He wanted to ignore how the words affected him in the middle of the night. It was the first night he could feel some semblance of peace, not sleeping with an eye open in case someone attacked them. Ellie was safe in another room. So he really considered that. He considered the possibility of staying. He was relatively new to the community... And so damn unaccustomed to the whole arrangement. He almost woke up the next morning and started packing before he remembered where he was.
Stay with me
Let's just breathe
Those words stuck with him.
And his first encounter with you was a harbinger of different things to come.
One day of patrolling with you led to another, one night of inviting you for a drink led to another. One peaceful afternoon in the stable led to another. One gloomy evening in the clinic did not lead to another. He was way too protective of you to let that happen again.
He truly feels lucky. You could be anywhere else, better off if you picked anyone other than this grumpy, old man. And yet you still want him. You silly girl. You've melted his heart with your warmth. 
But he's like a lake, deserted in the middle of a haunted forest and engulfed in coldness. Even though the center is warm and gooey, he keeps the surface frozen and rigid and menacing. Hard enough to keep his instincts sane and alarmed. Cold enough to let everyone know that you're his and he will not fucking share. 
Lightning strikes again in the sky.
He lifts himself up and off your front stairs with a heavy grunt. An hour has passed since he left for a walk. The clouds have fully gathered in the sky and he thinks that he should be by your side now.
Joel really cares little for the details, always asking Tommy and Ellie to spare him the explanation and get straight to the point. But with you, it's hard to forget a couple of things. One night, a few weeks ago, you were pulling him past the threshold of your house. So adorably drunk and inviting. He was still a little pissed by how the rainstorm had ruined your nightly walk. Despite your complaints about sharing a kiss in the rain, he'd dragged you back to the nearest shelter possible, because he just didn't want to get fucking soaked. Joel didn't find it romantic at all. He was frowning, still pinning you against the wall for a begrudgingly needy kiss. You giggled into his mouth, playful fingers pocking at his chest. "Come on Joel. Let yourself enjoy it... All these neverending drops on the roof, the fresh earthy scent that comes after it... It's just really beautiful. One of the few things that kept me sane before I came here..." 
He's not really against the idea. But the changing weather doesn't bode well with him. One day is sunny, and the next is rainy and it just goes to show how he has no power over the situation.
Hell. A part of Joel is really terrified of the changing weather. One day it was scorching hot, and the next his boots crunched against the white blankets of neverending snow, reprimanding him for his carelessness. Time would pass whether he wanted to or not. He is still terrified, wishing he could stretch the time he could spend with you. God knows he wants an eternity with you. 
He has seen enough rain for a lifetime. He hasn't seen you enough. How could he enjoy getting soaked in tiny drops of water when all he wanted was to bury his face in the crook of your neck and stay there for a while – maybe forever and a little more?
But he has considered it since then. If there are a few things that keep you happy and rainy days have to be one of them, he'll give you that. He'll get used to that. There's no pattern with the rainfall in here, and the weather forecast is pretty much nonexistent. He has promised himself to tell you whenever it rains, even though he despises the idea of you catching a cold after minutes or hours of dancing in the cold, letting droplets of water wash over you without a care in this wretched world. 
He also despises the idea of waking you up.
But he knows you'll like it. You careless, adorable girl. He lives to see that excited gleam in your eyes. Everytime you show it, this old heart pounds impatiently in his chest and it all feels like the first time it has happened.
He's back home in no time. 
So, kicking his boots off as silently as possible, he trudges over and settles down by the edge of the bed, suppressing a low groan. His knees still ache from all the never-ending effort he's put in repairing the library over the past few days. Jesus, he just wants it to be done as soon as possible. It feels like he's losing so much time when he's away from you. Now that you're still pretty much asleep in the same position he last saw you, all Joel wants is to lie down by your side and melt in your warm embrace instead of having to fight with his thoughts and the world to not take away yet another precious piece of him. He can't afford to even think about losing you.
Each flash of lightning illuminates the contours of your beautiful face and he can't help himself when he lifts a hand and lets his knuckles gently stroke your cheek. Your lips are parted ever so slightly and you look so innocent in your unconscious dream. He almost backs down, part of him hoping that it rains throughout the day, just so he doesn't guilt trip himself for the pout on your face if you miss it. You need to rest.
As if you sense his hesitation, you stir in bed and lean into his touch. A low hum escapes you, and Joel is too weak to deny himself the softness it brings. His wounded knuckles are soon replaced with a calloused thumb and he wonders what's so interesting about these hands that never ceases to catch your attention.
One night at the bar, Joel had caught you actually staring at them and when he teased you a little about it, you just shrugged and grinned mischievously. "I mean... I just like them so much. Your hands are always warm, and... and that's all."
He shrugged it off that night. Ellie had also considered it a flex for him to have warm hands even in the coldest days of winter, but with you and the way you looked at him... It was different. He knew it was more than that. 
And when the nights he shared with you went further than his sinful thoughts had planned, you showed him that it was more than that. It was more than the warmth you found there. If anything, your helpless whimpers were an indication of how capable and strong these hands were.
Heat blooms in his chest. It simply is endearing. The way you always seem to recognize his touch and send his head spiraling with the idea that you want him to do more. You've never been afraid of him. You've never pushed him away. You've never judged him for the horrible things he's done. Jesus, it should terrify him. Joel should've pushed you away at some point, because he knows you'd be better off without him, but how could he muster the strength to do so? Since that fateful moment on your porch, your presence keeps on inviting him for more. More than simply existing. And God, if you knew how he wants to do more than that every second of the day... Only if the world lets him breathe a little.
There's another bolt of lightning and raindrops finally begin to drum against the window pane.
Joel shakes his head to get rid of those worrisome ideas. Propping himself on one elbow, he leans over ever so slightly and lets his thumb trace its way to your chin, up to your jawline, and then back to the soft skin on your cheek. He draws circles over the blooming flush and then his thumb is traveling down to your lower lip. Your mouth parts just a little more, breathing even and content and if he gets a grip on himself, he may notice that there's a ghost of a smile in there as well.
"Baby..." He whispers softly, his gaze drifting all over your adorable face. You really are a piece of art, tangled in the sheets, in the safety of his house, and your innocent hums are doing something to him. Some obscene voice that silently pleads for more. More and more... Just to give you more. 
You stir a little more.
He leans over and places a gentle kiss on your forehead, the sweet, fruity scent he's come to like a lot about you engulfing his senses. He watches every little movement with amusement. "My sweet baby... You want to see what's waitin' for you outside."
"Joel," you mumble sleepily, voice drowsy and laced with a hint of confusion as you rub your eyes and stretch your arms before looking around the dark room with a quizzical expression on your face. It doesn't take long for the realization to hit you and the familiar gleam in your gaze makes him smile. You stare a him, wide-eyed. "Is it- again?"
He chuckles and gestures at the window. "Yes, a heavy one at that."
Again, there's that hum of delight as you follow his gaze. The pitter-patter of the rain cheers you up like a lollipop would do to a child. It's maddeningly adorable.
You should be running to the backyard by now, but instead you stare at him for a while. It's his turn to be confused. Your smile gets broader by each passing second as your delicate hands trace his face and run over the salt and pepper patches of his beard. When you playfully ruffle his hair, your eyes are still droopy and dreamy and so damn kissable that he just can't help himself.
His other hand fondles with a loose strand of hair beside you on the pillow before twirling it between his fingers. You bite your lower lip and lift your head just enough for a brief peck on the tip of his nose. He chuckles, letting his fingers draw a line over the column of your neck, down to your chest, and at last they disappear beneath the sheets, settling comfortably on the warm expanse of your belly. 
Joel assumes that his presence is not too close to lock you in place, and yet not too loose to let you drift back into unconsciousness. You just have the perfect moment to escape. For goodness sake, rain is the one thing you choose over anything else. The thing you like a lot.
But you're still here, dazed eyes flickering all over his face and it just gives him a second thought. A new idea to test your patience. Seeing you still pinned under him and unmoving, was not really in his list when he decided to walk back home and wake you up. He chortles with amusement. If you want what he thinks you do, he could give you that... "Come on sweetheart, what's stoppin' you?"
His fingers drift lower, exploring the bare flesh of your thigh, right where his mouth was hours ago. Still as warm as he remembers, maybe a little bruised too. "It's all rainy outside. Ain't that what you wanted?"
"I know..." You mumble, an undertone of need sewn in your voice as you look down over the sheets that cover every movement of his hand. It's too dark for you to see anything anyway. He could easily toss the covers aside, but it's wickedly satisfying this way. "I'm- um, just feeling a little under the influence...and it's- uh, it's distracting."
His hand caresses its way to where he knows you need it the most, and you barely repress a shudder when his fingertips glide over your folds. But he barely feels you, a ghost of a touch hovering there as a smirk threatens to flicker at the corner of his mouth.
"Wonder if my hand's makin' a good influence or a bad one. What d'you say, baby?"
It pelts down steadily outside, but you don't seem to care the slightest about it. Neither does Joel. A low gasp emanates from you when his touch becomes proper, rubbing circles and spreading the slick over your clit as slow and unrushed as he physically can manage. You're still indecently wet after he'd brought you over the edge again and again before you dozed off... and the fact that some of his cum might be gathering in his hand is fueling his lewd thoughts.
You naughty girl.
"A very bad one, I see." He tuts, feeling your chest heaving up and down beneath him. It's easy to rile you up this way. Desperation is written in your expression... and he hasn't even started yet.
"She needs fixin', doesn't she?" Joel asks, bringing his movement to a sudden halt. You're too distracted by everything he does to form a coherent thought. He lifts an expectant brow, now actually waiting for an answer.
"Yes- yes Joel... need it so bad... so bad it hurts." You breathe, a helpless pout forming on your lips.
"I know baby. I know... Jus' lay down and let me take care of it, hm? How's that sound?" He demands again, but this time he doesn't give you a chance to respond as he pushes two fingers past your weeping hole, burying them knuckles deep within your warmth. You gasp at the sudden intrusion, eyelids heavy as you grasp his arm, squirming like a helpless, needy girl.
What a cruel man he is.
"Not off to a good start, angel. I know you can be more patient."
You nod quickly, biting your lip in an attempt to stop yourself from wriggling and twisting on the bed. For a split second, Joel considers pulling out to nuzzle his face between your legs and let the heat consume him. A perfect place to brave the cold, restless seasons. 
But his fingers aren't shy either. He starts with slow thrusts, effortlessly sliding in and out before picking up the pace. He makes you adjust to his rhythm, and when you let go and open up, the obscene moans and chocked out cries are all that fill the silence of the house. Jesus, he lives to hear them every day. He rewards you by curling his fingertips to hit that spot that makes you see stars.
You shudder particularly hard at that, more arousal pooling inside you and soaking his fingers. You're losing your grip with reality, and he can sense it as your legs begin to shake and your knee brushes over the denim of his jeans, but you still remember to abide by his "No squirming" rule.
You're so pliant and obedient in his hands that it does nothing but to spur Joel to give you more. And so he does.
"I like these sounds," He adds a third finger, tilting his head to whisper in your ear. "I dream about them all the time."
You whimper and tighten your hold around Joel's arm. When he feels that your orgasm is creeping impossibly close, his thumb joins and rubs rapid circles over your bundle of nerves and that's your undoing. You clench around him, walls tightening and squeezing his fingers deeper – if that's even possible – as waves of white-hot euphoria crash over your worn-out body and take over your senses. Your back arches involuntarily into him. A sound between a groan and a curse escapes his throat.
"That's it. Atta girl... that's it, so fuckin' beautiful."
His touch is unrelenting as he talks you through it with a string of sweet nothings. 
Only when you come down and rest back on the bed he slowly pulls out. You're panting heavily, face flushed and heated and so effortlessly seductive that Joel is sure no fucking artist could ever capture it in words of a poem or colors of a painting. Joel is the only one to witness this moment and it swells his chest with pride. He wants to drink it in, let it run through his veins like never-ending liquor.
He lifts his hand, smirking as you gape at the way it's glistening under the dim light. You're in awe. He softly places the tips between your swollen lips and you waste no time in swirling your tongue around them, licking the slick off as if it's a delightful lollipop. And the hazy look on your face says that it's more than just a sweet treat.
His own breathing hitches when you open your mouth a little wider and take him fully in, sucking and humming and driving him absolutely crazy. He shakes his head slightly, catching the playful gleam in your gaze.
"Hm. Still a very bad influence."
When you're fully recovered and satisfied, Joel lifts you up in his arms and walks towards the backyard, chuckling at your confused expression. You give a squeal and wrap your hands around his neck to keep yourself steady, at the same time trying to gauge what his next plan would be. You really have forgotten about the rain, haven't you?
He comes to a halt, making sure the blanket he'd just picked off the bed is not leaving any part of your body uncovered. The rainstorm has eased off considerably over the past hour, but he doesn't want to risk it. Keeping you warm and safe in the cold is and will always be his top priority, no matter if his back or knees protest from how much they ache. Hell, he aches for you and that content smile on your face. Nothing beats it.
"My girl still wants to go out, hm?"
Your eyes flicker between him and the half-open door, filled with excitement and delight and a tiny flicker of doubt. "Yes Joel... but...you sure you want to join in?"
"I don't know," He feigns innocence, pretending to think for a short while before his face lights up with an idea. "Do I get a kiss for it?"
You laugh and lean up to press your lips into his in a soft, lingering kiss. It's so tender and reassuring that he has to pull back before changing his mind and taking you back to the bed.
"Then it's settled."
It has been settled for a long time.
Maybe he can get used to it. Maybe you get a better idea of what you've made of him with your presence at times when he easily complies with things that make you happy. A heart made of ice, molten enough to experience the world with you all over again. Even if he gets soaked in the rain, he's alright with it. You kiss him and all the discomfort is forgotten.
He should give it time and learn to breathe again. Learn to stay, to settle. To let you know that you're all he sees.
Yeah, I don't want to hurt
There's so much in this world 
To make me bleed
Stay with me
Let's just breathe
Stay with me
You're all I see
The words are carved in his head. He chances a glance at the living room before walking past the door. Your guitar is placed on the couch. Maybe one day he'll bring himself to play his melodies for you too. He thinks that he's got a lot of time for it now. He wants an eternity with you, and in this wretched world, eternity lasts as long as you'll have him.
One, two... Ten droplets fall over him. He kisses you again, harder and longer. His ice-cold heart melts just a little more at your careless laughter. Just stay with me.
1K notes · View notes
dilf-docs · 3 months ago
Text
The Rock N' Roll Got Harder and Softer
eddie brock x younger fem!reader
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summary: common sense isn't really your strongest suit. so here you are, riding a stranger's bike on halloween night. hey, he saved you! with one hell of a costume, no doubt. because it has to be one, right?
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (do we see the blog name? get used to it), smut, flirty reader! she's got no shame just game ++ also overshares (sorry if this trait is mischaracterizing you, everything will be okay❤️) praise kink, oral f. receiving (have u seen that tongue? ik its abt eddie but venom's tongue plays a part there... he defo going in my hear me out cake), does this count as sub!eddie idk?? the man is touch starved, p. in v. (use protection okay!! don't be like these dumb horny bitches), reader gets harrassed but the lethal protector saves the day!!
word count: 5,008 words
side note: i was re watching venom 1 and watching venom 2 since my friends want to see the third, so i got the tom hardy and his plump princess lips have to be mine virus!! like i wish i was kidding but after watching the movies and the top 100 dilf poll on twitter i felt in the need to use my hands (iykyk) ++ after finding out i have a pattern for lonely fucked up dilfs (first with old man logan now eddie). also, irdgaf halloween just passed; let's pretend ur calendar got stuck on the 31st as u read this. also, this can happen after venom (2018) but the time isn't really important!
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This is stupid.
It's a cold october night, the wind blowing in your face, and you're navigating this part of the neighborhood you don't know in nothing but a skimpy red bathing suit, like it's a hot summer day.
Dressing up as Pamela Anderson in Baywatch sounded much better a couple months ago; not now, when all the people passing by ogle your body up and down, whether it be with lust or judgment.
Your night has gone to shit: you feel cold, hungry, tipsy and vulnerable. One thing is wanting to be objectified by the possible candidates you would take home from the party, and other is being eyed by strangers who look at your body like hungry wolves.
You finally spot a mini-market amid the packed street, blue hues of light providing some sense of relief.
After getting something to drink and eat, you'll probably feel better and have the energy to walk home; there's no way you and your very small costume are getting inside an uber at ten o'clock tonight.
The bell chimes in as you enter the store, but the lady behind the counter doesn't even glance your way, focused on the TV behind her.
"Hi" she waves her hand absentmindedly, "Do you have any water?"
She mutters something that sounds like an annoyed of course we do, and points to the freezer in the back, still without looking.
"Alright, thanks" you say, walking to the freezer section and grabbing a bottle you chug until it's almost empty. You're still hungry, but at least your throat doesn't feel like you've eaten sand anymore.
With the bottle in your hand, you take the time to scour around the store, looking for something to eat. You finally decide on some chocolates; heck, it's halloween. Going home and stuffing your face with a bunch of candy for what's left of the night does sound nice.
You finally spot the chocolates on a display, moving towards it. As you're about to grab a bunch and go, another hand interrupts you.
"Oh!" you exclaim out loud, stepping back.
Maybe you're haven't gone trick or treating in years, but you will treat yourself tonight. And not with the chocolates. There's a God out there, definitely, who has blessed you not only with great curves but also with the chance of showing them off in the precise moment.
"Sorry!" your voice chirps a bit too excited for your liking. Control yourself. You clear your throat, suspecting the burn in your cheeks gives you away.
You're supposed to be confident! Flirty and charming! You're young and pretty! But how can you not be nervous when the stranger looks like that?
The eye candy who sports tattoos and a bad boy aroma that makes you drool; the jacket and beat up look just adds the perfect layer to the whole vibe. You're known to have a preference for men who look like he does. Something about the dangerous makes your heart race and skin prickle. Then your eyes travel to the motorcycle helmet in his right hand. Yummy.
The heat in your cheeks returns.
You don't even know his name, yet you've oggled him up and down without shame. It's probably all the pent up energy you had saved for the party. You figure it has to be invested somewhere else. Maybe with him.
Him, who's way older than the other guys you've been with. But that just just makes it even better.
"It's okay" he speaks up, and his voice is not only what you imagined it to be. The rich grave undertone is making your panties wet just with the sound. "You go first"
He points to the stand full of said treats. You motion forward, not without putting some extra sway and effort in your walk. By the reflection of the mirror in the corner, you know you've at least got his attention.
"Done" you say, leaving some space for him to pass. "Would the gentleman give me the honor of knowing his name?"
"I'm Eddie" he extends his hand, "Eddie Brock".
You shouldn't be this excited to shake a hand but when his large palm engulfs yours, you find it hard to let go.
With the closeness, you take another look at his face, getting lost in his warm eyes and the eyebags that adorn them. It's unfair how good they suit him; unlike you after a wild night out.
"Nice to meet you. Very nice, indeed" you purr.
You also make sure to bat your eyelashes in a way your friends tease you but has proven to be effective every time.
It seems to have done its magic, because he also takes a look at you.
But it's different.
You can sense something else is happening when his eyebrows furrow first, then face contorting into a disgusted expression as Venom says: I want to eat her, Eddie. I bet she tastes as sweet as she sounds! It's too tempting!
"Shut up" he mumbles (but loud enough for you to hear), then mutters something like We're just supossed to eat the bad guys! but you're confused and hurt, so you don't really pay attention; your ego really taking a blow tonight.
"I beg your pardon?"
Eddie curses under his breath, "that wasn't for you".
"Right" you chuckle dryly, looking around at the empty store. "Don't see who else that could be for"
"I'm sorry, it's hard to explain" he rushes the apology, looking rather embarrassed. "Now, if you excuse me".
And walks past you like it's nothing. Maybe that weird spark you felt was just on you; the interest isn't mutual.
"Hi Mrs. Chen" you hear him salute the lady behind the counter. Sighing, you grab your chocolates and head to cash out, adding another deception to your already bad night.
The bell chimes again when you make your way to the line, behind Eddie, but this time, you don't bother to look.
"Well, hello" the voice behind you says. It takes you a few seconds to realize they're talking to you.
"Hi" you mutter a bit annoyed, looking at the front. The silence is dense, the beep of each of Eddie's (million) of chocolates being the only silence filling the store.
"Won't even spare a glance, doll?" they continue, despite your clear apathy. "C'mon, lemme see if that face is as pretty as your ass"
Blood rushes to your face, and you're so embarrassed your body stiffs, fully aware the other two people in the store have noticed. You hug your body, because there isn't really anything you can cover yourself with right now, not daring to look back.
Well, fuck me.
If you thought leaving the party was going to solve your problems, it's only proven to cause more.
Eddie finishes, leading to your turn. You give a strained smile to Mrs. Chen, and she just gives you a look of pity.
"Hey, I'm talking to you!" they start to get irritated, and you just pray they don't follow you outside once you're done. "Are you deaf, Pamela?" he mocks, making your blood boil and skin sweat.
Mrs. Chen is done, but the stranger isn't taking your silence as an answer. Before you can leave, they grab your hand.
"Already leaving? You haven't even given me your name yet"
It's such a silly thought to have right now, but you realize you hadn't given Eddie your name either.
"I don't know if you've noticed, but she's clearly not interested, buddy" a voice speaks out, and you know it. It's probably the panic but you hadn't realize Eddie's still here. You hold his gaze for a few seconds, and even thought you hate having to depend on a man to be left alone, you need his help; so you plead, boring into his warm chocolate eyes.
"In case you haven't noticed, this is a two people conversation" the stranger snarls.
"Looks more like a one sided conversation to me" he bites back, making the stranger mad. That's the last thing you need. You just want to go home and curl under your warm and soft blankets; you've even lost your appetite.
"It's none of your business. Are you not understanding?"
"Oh, but that's the problem. You're the one that isn't understanding" what appears to be black surrounds his before bare neck, and you feel like you haven't completely sobered up, your mind playing games with you. The black engulfs his whole body, making him taller and more intimidating.
"It is" he threats on a distorted voice. Now, where Eddie's face used to be, another one replaces him: with white instead of two eyes and a big mouth with teeth and a really long tongue.
You hadn't even drink that much. No way this is real.
The stranger gulps, petrified. Oh, so they see it too; it's not you.
"Sorry, idiot. The lifeguard shift is over" and before the stranger replies, his head dissapear inside the mouth, chopping it off.
"Fuck!" you curse out loud, the body falling limp at your side.
A shiver runs through your back. This is a nightmare.
"Well, now that makes us two who know your secret now" Mrs. Chen adds in a rather monotone voice, and you wonder if people have gone insane―you included.
You can't even speak. Less when the black starts dissappearing, and it's Eddie's face and body again.
"Hey, sorry about that" you don't know who Eddie is talking to when saying that. "You okay?"
Okay? Sure, that you are. Fine? Not really.
"It's alright if you're scared" he reaches out to you but you flinch. He looks used to it, apparently, "I know this is weird".
You chuckle, bemused. "Weird? Not even in my wildest acid trip, I could've imagine that"
"It's easy to explain, but hard to understand" he begins, but trails off. "Would you, uh, let me?"
Well, he had saved you. If he wanted to eat you and have you go the same fate your harasser did, he would've done it by now.
Besides, common sense isn't really your strongest suit. Never was. You've had so many problems stem from it, including tonight's events, that you could probably write a column or do a podcast of it.
"Sure" you agree, "as long as you don't eat me".
You regret the (attempt at a) joke as soon as it leaves your mouth, but that is gone when you hear him laugh. A little pride fills your chest, especially at the velvet-like sound.
"I won't" he raises his palms in a playful manner, "but he wants to".
Not anymore, you don't eat the people you save!
"He?" you quirk an eyebrow, "you better rush that explanation, yeah?"
"Sure" he chuckles, "uh?"
"Y/n" you answer, and the honeyed tone is back. God, you need to get a grip. This guy could snap you in, "but just for tonight, Casey Jean Parker. So you better put some good use to it before she leaves, cowboy"
"Will take it into account, blonde" he laughs at your hair.
You hate it because it reminds you of Anne, pussy.
"Hey, it's a good wig!" you playfully slap his shoulder. "You wish you had hair like this".
You flip it, to which he just laughs. Then he bids goodbye to Mrs. Chen and you both head outside, where the wind hits your body cruelly.
A curse leaves your mouth, "Shit"
Eddie notices. Before you can react, he's putting his jacket over your shoulders.
"You got the seasons messed up, baby" he jokes, the pet name rolling off his tongue a bit too easily, "don't even think about taking it off; don't want you to catch a cold".
There's a beat of silence before he asks:
"So, about the costume..."
"I know" you properly put his jacket on. It smells like him: pine, gasoline, sweat and a bit of chocolate. "It sounded better when I came up with it in August"
"No!" he corrects hastily, then coughs "I like it".
Light pink creeps up his cheeks.
"Good to know I still got the charm" you joke, winking.
"Was this" he points with his ringed fingers up and down, "for a contest?"
"No, a party. Jesus, how old do you think I am?" you chastise in a mocking tone. "It's what pretty college girls do, Eddie: party".
Venom likes parties! I like her, Eddie!
"And if that's what you do, pretty girl" two can play the game it seems, "what exactly are you doing out of the water, Ms. Parker?"
You scoff, shocked. "You're supposed to give me your answer first".
Fortunately for Brock, you have a bad habit to overshare; it gets worse, especially with men. God knows you don't know such thing as boundaries.
You lay against the concrete wall, exhaling. Your worries condense in front of you as Eddie waits attentively, examining the way your face falls.
"I was supposed to go to a party today, hence the costume" you motion to your body, "but things went wrong".
"So you went?"
"And left" you add, "which wasn't part of the plan".
He lays next to you, crossing his arms. You try not to get distracted with the closeness.
"Why did you?"
"Leave? Because... well, things happened".
Your skin prickles uncomfortably, like it did back at the house you ran away from―the whole reason you're here, next to Eddie.
"That thing being...?" Brock presses, then realizing you probably don't want to tell, so he shuts up.
"Don't worry" it's like you guess his thoughts, "It's just... sort of embarrassing".
You breathe in some air.
"He wasn't supossed to be there. My ex" you clarify, "yet he went. And guess what? With his new girlfriend! And alright, I'm not a girl who holds grudges, but it hasn't even been two months since we broke up and now he's matching costumes with her?"
Saying it out loud sounds a tad bit childish, but Eddie doesn't seem to be judging, and your pride continues to be bruised, so you carry on with your little rant.
"So I drank a little too much and went up to them. I don't know what took over me, but one second I was dancing and then Pamela Anderson in Baywatch was grabbing Pamela Anderson as Tommy Lee's wife by her hair. Real blonde hair, on top of that... that bitch. I decided to be Pamela Anderson first! Which, by the way, would never do that. She truly is a girl's girl" pause, "by that I mean parading around with the guy I ended things with because of you"
We should eat them.
Instead of what Venom said, Eddie asks:
"Your boyfriend cheated on you?"
"Yeah" embarrassment washes over you, "The owner of the house is friend's with her. So, I decided it was for the best to leave. My not so bright idea that followed was to walk to the nearest store for some junk and head home. And now I ended on this side of town I don't know. Lucky me"
Lucky us that found you.
"Wow" Eddie manages to muster after all your information dump and Venom's little comment, "they're idiots. I'm sorry".
"Thanks, but my night is still ruined" you take a look at your legs, "now I have to walk home, and I suspect, bare―without your jacket".
He doesn't know what takes over him when he says, or maybe it's Venom giving him the boost of courage he needs.
"Need'a ride?" your face morphs into surprise. He adds, "Keep my jacket. That way you can give it back when we're there"
Your eyes trail to the bike parked on the side, which you guess belongs to him. This is hard because the decision is so easy.
Hey, sometimes you gotta do it for the plot!
"We both win" is his way of insisting. "No more stares, and my jacket gets express delivered to me".
You don't need that much insisting, almost instantly caving in, walking over the bike and hoping behind him―like you know he'd never hurt you; full on trusting him.
"I don't have a spare one. Use mine" he apologizes, handing you the helmet he carried before.
"Thanks" you accept, "at this point I'll have to pay you. Do you accept my chocolates? It's all I got with me"
"We'll discuss those arrangements later" his deep voice comments, and well, you might just give him anything he wants!
Before you can regret your life choices, the engine roars, Eddie making his way through the street, all your surroundings reduced to a blur.
"Woah!" you shout, but it gets lost in the wind and speed. Luckily for you, the wig is secured inside the helmet. At this speed, there would be a blonde mop on the street somewhere.
"Liking it?" he asks over the noise. You only can happily humm in response.
Honestly, you've never felt this... free before. It's liberating: your hair dancing in the wind, the crisp trepidation in your fingers, the way you dare yourself to let loose and let the experience consume you. It's the first time you truly feel alive.
All you can think now is on the adrenaline coursing through your system. That and the way you're holding onto Eddie's thick back, your arms caging his form. You can feel his heartbeat too, as steady as yours. You can't help but wonder if it's because of the ride or the passenger he's carrying in the back.
You keep giving him directions whenever he looks back, keeping it like that until you both arrive at your apartment complex.
Once the bike is parked, he whistles. "Nice. Much better than mine"
You give his helmet back, taking the wig off in the process too.
"I'll have to see it to believe it" you tease, and if he heard, Eddie pretends not to.
There's some silence until you understand it's over: the original "stuffing and watching horror movies until I sleep" isn't sounding as good as extending your time with Eddie. For some reason, you can't seem to let go yet, and accept that tonight was a rare occasion that will only be once.
"Well, I guess this is it" you hate the way the obvious disappointment drips in your tone, "thank you, Eddie. Goodnight"
You hop off and take the jacket out of your body. If your skin gets goosebumps, you'll blame the cold.
Guess Pamela Anderson didn't work her magic tonight.
"Wait!"
Or maybe she did.
"Yes?" you turn around, smiling a bit too much.
Eddie doesn't look at you when he says, "we didn't discuss the payment"
Your red lips purse into a smile.
"We can discuss the details inside" and point out your apartment on the third floor, "for the cold, obviously. It's warm up there, you know; I've been told they like my heat"
You finally recognize the feeling from before, at the store. It's mutual. The tension; it still lingers.
"Sure" he says sounding all but that, "show me the way".
Your voice drops as you say, "Follow me, then"
And you lead the way: wet spot in between your legs, growing as your excitement. As you open the door, Eddie can't help but think the inside is so you: sweet and girly―like a strawberry bubblegum.
"Like what you see?" you joke, sitting in the couch. It has double meaning, obviously, but Eddie is so oblivious he just answers:
"It's so... you" mentally slapping himself when he says it, "I mean... you know, pink"
Idiot! She's talking about herself.
You giggle, "And?"
Patting the empty spot next to you, Brock walks over, like in a trance. You can see him gulp―nervous, the adam's apple on his throat bobbing.
Coward! Say something.
"Pretty..." he breathes out.
His hand finds its way to your bare thigh, and the touch is so electric, it takes you a lot not to jump at the contact.
Now kiss her!
"Don't be scared, Eddie" your voice is so low he swears he's dreaming. "I don't bite" there's a pause before you add, "unless you want me to".
Do it!
He would be lying if he said Venom is the reason why he leans forward, wrapping his lips around yours. Why he suddenly feels hungry, starving, eating your mouth out like he hasn't had a meal in days is beyond him.
"That's right" you moan between kisses, "cash your pay out, cowboy".
His hands tug on your hair as he deepens the kiss, a few groans echoing around the apartment.
"I like it" he twirls a strand in between your fingers, "suits you better".
There's a hearty laug emitting from your chest, "you do? Show me then"
It's like something snapped inside of him.
His hand moves to hug you from behind, right at the bare spot the swim suit had.
"You smell so sweet" Eddie's inhaling the vainilla scent off your soft skin, and Venom growls in pleasure, "like a pastry".
You have to laugh again, because this man is clearly touched starved.
Now he's rubbing his nose along the length of your neck, leaving some wet kisses that have you swearing his tongue isn't human. He mumbles incoherences like he's drunk, begging he wants to shove his mouth where it belongs: that being between your legs, to taste what he’s been craving for so long.
"Well, if you want it so bad" you make a play at his earlier words, "eat it".
So with trembling hands, he's pushing the little piece of bathing suit until your clit is exposed. His other hand grips your hip, and it doesn't take that long for him to fall onto his knees, the pink fluffly carpet on the floor providing some ground.
He beggins to toy with it, leaving you to collect a gasp. Alright! He has experience. Not that you ever doubted it, but now that he's here, his fingers inside of you, you can't help but feel the luckiest girl in the world.
"Thought the sweet you wanted was some chocolates" you manage to joke between moans, his thick fingers too busy lubing the needy area.
He gets another moan out of you, "this is better" grabbing a finger out, he licks a bit of your essence left on his fingers, "tastes much better. Look at you, so wet already; good girl"
Now he's doing tight little circles, his thick fingers speeding up the pace―quicker and quicker, until you're writhing in his grip. Your red nail dig into his forearm leaving little crescents. The haze may be too much that you don't know if the way they instantly heal is something you imagined or not.
"P-please, Eddie" you mewl.
Let me try, Eddie.
Without explaining, his tongue begins licking your inner thighs where your liquids dripped. It sends a shiver down your spine, and God, how thankful you are about leaving the party. The consequences of your petty fight and disastrous little adventure didn't end up being so bad.
"Sweet" he exclaims in that distorted voice back from the store. Your eyes go wide, so he rushes an "I'll explain later".
He doesn't give you much time to dwell on it before his tongue finds its way to your core again: the muscle licking the wet folds of your sensitive clit before diving fully. You swear his tongue has gotten longer with the way he explores your warm insides, quickly finding the spot no one but yourself has correctly pleased before.
Soft sobs fall from your lips. "Yes, More! P-please!"
His tongue continues its ministrations, almost lazily against it. Your body tenses up, reacting to him so well, and the familiar warmth pools in your abdomen.
He keeps licking until you’re twitching in over-sensitivity. A groan escapes his drooling lips, "I'm still a gentleman, you know?" the vibration his voice makes in between your legs sends a delicious wave that does nothing but ignite the fire pooling in the low of your stomach. "Ladies first"
You deliciously cum on his awaiting tongue. Even in your haze, you find his eyes, and the previous warm brown looks closer to hungry now, his pupils blown wide.
"Go ahead" you encourage, "be a good boy for me and taste it".
His fingers lick your remains off of them, his tongue making an obscene display.
"Will you let me pay you, now?"
He doesn't even need to wait, his hand eagerly taking his cock out of his pants―taking the sweat pants out in record time, sliding his girth between your legs, rubbing it against your folds that give him a warm welcome, coating it in your wetness.
Eddie slides inside you with ease, his hands resting on your waist as he slams his entire length inside you. The couch creaks, the only other sound in the apartment your hiss, because of the initial stretch. He gives you time to adjust and then he starts moving. 
"Y/n, God. You pretty sweet thing" his hot breathe mumbles against your ear.
Never in your life you would've thought you'd gone home with a complete stranger, but by the way Eddie Brock is deep inside you right now, you may do it more often. Or even better, bring him back. Maybe meet his apartment next time.
Eddie thinks he's gone insane. He's never had sex like this before. Not even on his wildest dreams. Hell, doesn't know if it's the lack of activity before you, your filthy mouth dripping with moans or the way you perfectly wrap around him, or maybe his newfound stamina he could finally put to use, thanks to Venom. Maybe it's all that, but who cares? God, he's loving every second of it.
Eddie uses his hands to grab your ass, holding onto the soft flesh so firm, you'll have bruises tomorrow for sure. He starts pumping you fast and deep like an animal. You muffle your screams against the crook of his neck, fully aware that doesn't stop the paper thin walls from telling your neighbours the good time you're having.
You feel your moves start to get unsteady, your orgasm closer and closer. "I'm c-close" you blurt out and he growls instead of talking. The way your body jolts with each of his poundings is insane. Your friend will never let this go if you tell them. But it just feels so fucking good.
"Fuck!"
Your whole body shakes when the wave of pleasure heats you. His hand is suprinsingly soft, caressing your cheek as you rest your forehead against his to catch your breathe.
"That's the best sex I've ever had" he confesses, his voice sounding drunk. Every drop of alcohol in your system has completely vanished by now, but you feel dizzy too, the overstimulation driving your senses to it's limits.
But it doesn't make you stop.
"How can you rate something that hasn't finished?" you move your body so Eddie stays against the coach. When he realizes what you're trying to do, he half-supresses a moan. "If you want to give your opinion, you better finish the whole plate".
So now you're on top of him, riding his cock like nothing; you must also have a symbiote inside of you, because Eddie can't explain your infinite stamina. So young, so pretty and so goddamn tight; he really won tonight, huh?
The change of position makes his cock slightly change the angle, hitting your g-spot. "Oh my god, right here!" you gasp. Your pussy clenches while you keep bouncing on his dick. If it weren't for the bathing suit, your tits would be bouncing. That doesn't mean he doesn't imagine them, your nipples perking through the fabric making it all too easy.
"You're so perfect" he whispers against your shoulder, "you sweet little thing".
If he keeps calling you like that, you might ask him to stay the night.
You feel like it, so, as a reward, you press your lips against his and he moans at your cunt clenching. He knows you are close again.
"Cum for me, y/n" he demands in his deep voice. Your name in his lips is such an addictive sound, you're sure you've reached heaven.
"Cum with me, Eddie" you manage to say.
So now he sits a little straighter on your poor couch (that's seen and taken only so much) so he can wrap his other arm around your waist. You take him deeper every time, even if now the position makes it a bit uncomfortable, but every shiver of pleasure you get is worth it.
"At least look at me when you do it" his brown orbs bore into yours. You can't hold back any longer, your hips rolling to increase the friction.
Your second orgasm washes over you: toes curling and body shaking. You've never felt more tired and energetic in your life. So you fall in Eddie's strong tattoed arms. He joins you, painting your tight walls with his thick and white shots of cum.
You are both out of breathe but Eddie takes his time and kisses you deeply.
"I think this life guard is out of duty for now" you mumble sleepily against his arms, tracing lazily his tattoos. He chuckles, moving one of his hands to brush strands of your damp hair from your forehead.
"What about the chocolates?" he jokes.
"Fuck them" you yawn, "stay here". He might've heard it wrong.
Stupid Eddie and stupid little human brain. She wants us here!
After some minutes of silence your sleepy voice mumbles, "You didn't explain me anything, cheater. If you want to stay, talk".
He feels you rest your head on his shoulder, sleep taking control of your form. You look so cute, he starts to forget how shitty his life actually is.
Hey! I can hear your thoughts, idiot. Your life isn't shitty anymore, I'm here!
"How about a bed time story? I promise I won't leave any detail out"
You cuddle closer to his warm body, "Promise?"
He intertwines his pinky finger with yours, promising himself this won't be the last time he sees you.
"Promise"
825 notes · View notes
bloomries · 6 months ago
Text
it's me or ____!
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includes  : lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, and belphegor.
summary  : asking them to choose between you and their favorite thing (lightheartedly).
warnings  : gn! reader. possessive! satan (could read a bit yandere, so be wary of that). name calling (in belphegor's).
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LUCIFER
his classical music records
Your question was very out of nowhere, and Lucifer doubt you meant it seriously, still his heart dropped when you picked up one of his records and fiddled with it. He chuckles tensely, hands flexing by his side. "You already know the answer, why bother asking?"
You send him a glance, noticing his tense behavior. You look down at the record in your hand, deciding to tease him a little further. "Do I?" You pout, "Are you sure you don't love this piece of vinyl more?"
Lucifer wondered if you were the demon in that moment, as you toy with his beloved heart. When you finally cease your teasing, setting down the record where it belonged, he let out a breath of relief.
Then, with quick strides he walks over to where you are and takes you by the shoulders. "I apologize if it wasn't obvious before, but I should hope you know that I love you more." You smile, confirming you knew this, leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. He pulls back and clears his throat. "But I also do really love my records, so please don't scare me like that again..."
MAMMON
grimm
"I can't choose between the two loves of my life?? How do you expect me to choose?" He asks with a pout. You two had just woken up, not even out of bed, when you asked the demon this question. You weren't expecting this response, although you feel a little foolish to not expect this outcome.
"You're sleeping on the couch tonight." You say, rolling over so your back faces him. He lets out another whine, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face into your neck.
"Don't be upset," his hot breath tickles your neck. "Grimm lets me spoil ya, y'know. Whenever I buy somethin' I know ya like, and bring it home to ya and see that big ol' smile... How can I not like grimm when it makes such good things happens, hmm?" Well, Mammon is surely very charming, you'll give him that. You peek over at him and he's smiling that smile that has your stomach doing flips.
"Fine... No couch..." You pinch his cheek. "But if I ever ask that question again, the answer better be 'you, darling,' got it?"
"L- Loud and clear!"
LEVIATHAN
his merch collection
"H- Huh!?" Leviathan fell out of his seat at your sudden question. You chuckle quietly at his reddening face. It was a simple question of 'what do you like more, me or all your merch collection' and he's already gotten this flustered.
"Well, I- uhm, well..." He's stumbling over his words, looking around his room. He did really love his all the items he's collected throughout the years, but he also really loved you. Dread settles in his stomach when he realizes just how much he loves you because... is becoming a normie!? Why would he sell every last drop of merchandize for you? He'd give up videogames, anime, fantasy novels, all for you if you truly asked him too.
You watch as he spirals, mumbling to himself. You're a little worried now, poking at him cautiously. He doesn't react. "Uhm, Levi? It was just a joke, you don't have to think so seriously..." You say, before he's sitting back up, staring at you with wide, watery eyes. Shit, you almost felt a little guilty for asking him now.
"I... I love you... More... Yeah." He nods, his face on fire as he takes a nearby figurine and holds it close to his heart. You decide to leave, to let him come to terms with his newfound realization that he, Leviathan, who had sworn off any real connections, has indeed made a connection with someone so profound he'd do anything for them.
It'll take him a while to come to terms with this.
SATAN
enchanted books
"Don't be ridiculous, obviously I love you more than my enchanted books." He rolls his eyes at your question. Was it not obvious how madly in love he was with you? Did he need to be more outright and forthcoming with his affections?
"Yeah, but wouldn't you be sad without your books?" You ask, looking through his bookshelf. Satan's eyes follow your every move, a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips as he sneaks up behind you, before wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your shoulder.
"Well, yes I would be, but life would be much more dull without you by my side." He confesses. "Unfortunately for both of us, I need you more than anything else now." He pulls away slightly, so you can turn around in his arms and give him a pointed look- what does he mean by 'unfortunately'? He can read you easily, and decides to explain. "I just mean I hope you don't plan on leaving anytime soon, I fear I might not be able to let you go."
Placing a light peck on your cheek, Satan pulls back to look into your gaze. "But don't go thinking you can throw away my books now, okay?" You stifle laugh, nodding.
"Wasn't planning on it."
ASMODEUS
new clothes
"I can't believe you would think- obviously I love you more!" Asmo scolds, huffing and puffing at your words. He's offended you would think he loves anything more than you! "Of course I do really enjoy new clothes, but they'd just be boring if I didn't have you to show them off to! or have you to help me accessorizes with, or-" You place your lips on his for a sweet kiss (mostly to stop him from lecturing you).
"Okay, I understand, 'm sorry for asking." Asmo blinks a few times, a little dazed by your kiss (he always is) before crossing his arms over his chest.
"Oh no, don't think that'll make me forget." He scoffs, shaking his head. "Do you realize how worried I am now, thinking that you don't feel loved enough?" He sighs dramatically, blowing some hair out of his face. "I think this calls for a date night." He's got a mischievous little twinkle in his eye. "Don't you think?"
"Oh my," So this is what he was getting all worked up for. "I agree, I think I need you to show me just how much you love me~" You coo, playing into his antics. He grins, pulling you close to him.
"Thought so," he hums, nuzzling into you. "I know just the place to go, too. Shall we get ready together?"
BEELZEBUB
burgers
"You... or burgers?" Beel asked, stopping midway to bite into the delicious, juicy burger he ordered. Beel gives you a sad look, and you instantly feel a kick to the gut. You regret asking, his little frown making your heart twist into knots.
"I-" You go to laugh it off, to tell him that you were only messing around, but he cuts in before you're able to.
"I love you more. Really." He finally takes a bite of his burger, which your grateful for, before he's taking your hand in his, giving it a light squeeze. "I know I'm not great at showing my feelings... But I'll try better from now on." He says, full of earnest. Oh, your heart is shattering. You lean across the table, cupping his cheeks and giving him a big kiss.
"No, I'm sorry Beel! I know you love me, I was just trying to be silly, 'm sorry I got you so worried!" He seems to relax a little at that- so you were just pranking him? He lets out a shaky breath of relief, that's good to know. Still...
"I see... Well, I will still try to show my feelings more."
BELPHEGOR
his pillow
"Don't be ridiculous," Belphegor huffs at your stupidity, rolling over in his mix of blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals. "What a stupid question." He shakes his head, "I knew you were dumb but geez..." He peeks a glance at you, before continuing. "Obviously those two things are the same."
You can't see his cheeky, shit-eating grin but you can feel it. You throw a pillow at him, exclaiming "I am not a pillow!" for the umpteenth time. He swats the pillow away, snickering to himself.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever ya say." He snickers, cozying up in his bed, feeling his eyelids grow heavier. "Either way, you're my favorite so... don't get all huffy, 'kay?" Your cheeks grow a little warm at his sleepy confession, and you sneak a little closer to him.
"Belphi-" You let out a shriek as he pulls you into the bed with him, swiftly positioning you both so his head is resting atop of you. You groan, you should've seen this coming. "You brat, let me go."
"Sorry, but I plan on using my favorite pillow- I mean, human, to help me sleep, so quit your yapping, will you?"
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tan1shere · 7 days ago
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Sports Car
Billie Eilish x female reader !
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A/n: to popular demand it's here ! - HA you thought I was done w "no new ideas I'm sticking to my drafts" .... well I surprised myself to, ignore it. ANYWAYS 😭 enjoy horny bitches 🥰😈
Summary: you love her new car.
Warnings: smut. And I MEAN smut, this one's going to be uh... different ! So read at your own risk lovelies. Dom bils as per, gear shift usage. You'll see ;) masturbation, cockwarming. Slight pervy billie !
Tags: @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @chrissv4mp @n0vabug @dollyvuu @dollarbils @sweetcherriexs @xxangelfarrlzxx
Masterlist
"Hey! Cute jeans." You hear, turning around to be faced with none other than Billie. You had been friends for ages, honestly having a slight crush on her. Especially the way she'd constantly flirt with you. You tried not to get sucked in, saying she was just being casual. But your friend Claudia says otherwise. You had known Claudia first since you were children, getting to know Billie super well over the years of knowing her. It had only been in the last few that she became more... Brazen, with you. Openly doing whatever it was she did. You kept making excuses when Claudia would say. "She likes you!" You did not believe her in that. Pointing out how it was 'just her personality'
She'd give you a look that she clearly didn't believe you, in the slightest. Everyone decided to go out for the night, Finneas, Ricky, and a few others came along. "Hey, cute jeans?" Claudia whispers to you, which you shove her in return seeing as Billie was approaching. "Stop it." You mumbled. But it wasn't a lie that you didn't give that same energy back, no matter if it was just her being her. "Dug them up the other day, I haven't worn them in forever." You smile at her. Claudia thought it was impressive how fast you could slip out of your shy nervous self and into this different persona. Billie leans her arm on your shoulder, smirking slightly. "Yeah? You should wear them more."
"Might just have to since they're so cute." Her smirk turns into a grin. Everyone orders some drinks, conversing about anything and everything. "Billie got a new car yesterday." Finneas pipes up. "Really?" I turn to her. She nods. "You guys want to come see?" - "Without a doubt, let's go." Ricky says heading for the door, always full of great energy. It was a black Porche, very sporty like. "It's so nice." She opens the door for you as you sit, observing every bell and whistle it has inside. "Really nice." You then say after the first thing you said. "Yeah, good pick Bils." Ricky says. She looks at the way you admire it. "Wanna take a ride later?"
Oh golly gee.
Hmm, a challenge. You thought for a moment. Accepted. "Fine fine." You move to sink it into yourself, the strap hitting at a good angle. Making you sigh out into her ear. If anything she'd be worried of moving herself, that sigh going straight to her core. "Fuck sake." She says under her breath.
Your mind goes elsewhere, practically time skipping to- "Y/n?" You turn your head to look up at her. "Oh uh yeah, yup. Love to." You get out, the five of you heading back inside. As the night goes on you just can't help but falling for Billie more and more. It didn't help when you all started dancing, a few drinks in. Having fun nonetheless. Music plays, your tipsy state feeling it. Billies tipsy state feeling you. Her hands move over your body with ease as your back was to her front. You almost didn't feel real, what was happening. As her hands settle on your waist you move your eyes to them. Her cold rings on your skin. Yeah. It was time to go. You turn in her arms, looking at her. "How about that ride now." She smirks at you. "Yeah?" You nod, looking at the others. They'll be fine. You? You'll be more than fine.
She takes your hand taking you out to it. Once you get in, you get comfortable. She watches, starting it up. The air thick with unshed lust. It'll soon spill out of the both of you. She begins to drive. You look at her hand on the wheel, her veins especially prominent at the moment. You shift in your seat before you ask. "How fast can it go?" She doesn't reply at first, her upper lip moving up slowly as you suddenly feel her speed up drastically. Your eyes widen just for a moment as you hadn't expected her to just do it. You look at her, God she was attractive right now. More so than usual.
I can't take no more, im goin' weak in my knees.
"You know." You began. "I couldn't help but feel something earlier." - "That so? Do enlighten me babe." You suck in a breath quietly. "Maybe I should ride that instead." You suggest. Surprisingly bold. Her head turns to you as you were at a light. A bit surprised, but definitely considering it. "I mean if you really want to, better be fast the lights will change soon." Something switched inside you and now you need it. More than anything. Your hands hastily go to un-buckle her belt. "Eager are we?" You ignore her, definitely so. Looking around. It was 3 am and everything was pretty dead out. Everyone probably asleep. But before you decide to do anything you take your own jeans off. That boldness still evident.
We can share one seat.
Your heart picks up but you just do it, you move so you're straddling her lap. Making sure you weren't in her line of sight. Keeping to the left side of her neck. "You're trouble, y'know that?" You bite your lip, going to pull out the main event of your tactics. But her other hand grabs your face momentarily. "But- you can't move." Your face changes. "I'm driving doll, don't forget." Hmm, a challenge. You thought for a moment. Accepted. "Fine fine." You move to sink it into yourself, the strap hitting at a good angle. Making you sigh out into her ear. If anything she'd be worried of moving herself, that sigh going straight to her core. "Fuck sake." She says under her breath.
Now she realizes why this hadn't happened earlier. The two of you were dangerous together. Imagine if she wasn't being careful while she sped up on occasion. Imagine if she gets pulled over with you stuffed full, those cops would be traumatized. So would you. ... So would you, more so humiliated, but the thought of being caught like that was actually turning her on. She had to think of something else and focus. Just the fact after years of lusting over you, she finally has you where she's always wanted.
There was always alternatives while this lust fest was happening ofcourse. The obvious. You had actually just posted a new post on Instagram, looking extra good. Billie was sitting on her bed when she got a wicked idea. A filthy one. Does she go through with it. Hell yeah, she doesn't care. Even if that sounds pervy so be it, she was crazy about you. She stares at the photo, you were on a beach in a bikini. The two piece hiding practically nothing. Score. Her hand travels beneath her sweats, moving past her underwear. Imagining you ontop of her, your tits. That soft voice of yours. How nervous you could get. No matter how much you'd flirt back she knew how shy you were. She feeded on it. Even if she loved you flirting back, she adored when your cheeks would go red. It gave her a egotistical power that she loved. Not only that, you were just the cutest in her eyes, the blush making every feature on your face just stand out. God she was mesmerized by you. Her fingers had entered herself, speeding up at the thought of her making you nervous.
She prayed it'd happen more. Her mind wanders, imagining the soft sounds you'd make, whimpers whines. How they'd sound coming our of your pretty lips. Her hand speeds up, letting out a moan, herself. How she'd fit in you sooo, good. "Mmm, fuck." She curses under her breath, this was probably so wrong. Doing this to a photo of a close friend. But oh how she wanted more.
Your hips were still. Until they weren't, she had one hand on the wheel and the other on your waist making sure you kept to your word. It was killing her she had to refrain. She was in this challenge too. You shift a little, making her blink. You didn't mean to right? Oh but you did, you hated that you couldn't feel her properly. The silicone deep in you, smashing against your walls with the way she speeds. Nothing crazy, but you move. Again. Seeming more intentional. "Mama." Billie warns. You think you leaked just a tad, good God this woman. "But." You breathe into her neck. Oh your goddamm voice rings through her ears like a beautiful song. "Jesus." She breathes. Then you realize the kind of effect you're having on her. You realize that you have slight power in this situation. You smirk to yourself, she wasn't as cocky at the moment. Keeping very silent. You shift again.
Letting out a faint noise right next to her ear. "Don't think I can stay still for much longer Bils." She gulps, but her foot pushes down speeding up more.
We can uh - uh in it, while you drive it real far.
Desperate to find an empty parking lot. Somewhere surely. Until then, you were having your fun. This time you move fully on the plastic dick. Her chest rises slightly, needing you to just, behave. "Youre a fucking troublemaker." You giggle into her neck. "What? Can't find somewhere to park?" You make a little saddened noise. "Poor you. Is this getting to you?" You were in for a treat when she'd find one, she just had the best fucking idea. "Awh yeah, it so is baby. But guess what. Since you didn't listen, I have something in mind that's going to get to you even worse. You'll be a whiney fucking wreck. I promise you."
You move a bit to look at her, confused by what ever it could be. And within seconds she found an empty parking lot. You were done for. As she parks she grabs your hips. Moving the dick out of you, you whine out hating feeling empty so soon. "Naww, shame huh? It's ok you'll be full again very soon." Your brows furrow, what on earth was she going to do. "You like this car right?" You nod slowly. "Yeah? Mark it for me." Bewildered would be an understatement for how you were feeling right now. "W-what?" She bites her lip, she has you stuttering. You were getting nervous. "Mark. My car. With your cum." Your heart picks up, feeling it beat rapidly. What the fuck did she mean. "Want me to show you?" You warily nod, slowly.
Her hands grip your hips, grabbing the bottom of your underwear and moving it to the side, she effortlessly moves your cunt over the gear stick. Your eyes widen. Oh. That's what she had in mind. You felt a little embarrassed. "Fuck it, go on, seeing as you were so desperate to do so on me." You froze, there's no way. "What, shy now?" That fucking smirk was evil. She was enjoying this. "Go on baby, want a reminder." After the initial shock, you had to admit it did feel good against you. You move just slightly, feeling your mouth hang at this new feeling. Rough but so good. She watches you, enjoying every little bit of this. Your movements speed up a bit, but it wasn't as good as her inside you.
"So good it hurts." You moan out a whimper, moving gently against it, her eyes heavy on you and your movements. "That's it, atta girl. Keep moving." She says with a smirk. "It's too much.." You pant, enjoying it but wanting her more. Mind foggy with every possible fantasy. She says nothing. Watching you move slower against it. "Faster, harder, come on." Your forehead becomes sweaty. "Bils, please." Her head just shakes. "You didn't listen, keep going." Your lips were pouty, wanting, needing her desperately. "But.." Her head tilts at your small voice. "If you cum, I'll fill you up again. Deal?" Why was she wanting you to do this so bad, it was turning you on to the max though. Finding this side of her so incredibly attractive. You nod at her request. Needing to feel that strap again.
She moves her hand to your folds, spreading then against it. Your clit being exposed to the leather, just perfectly. Eyes, rolling back as you rock against it, feeling a tightness in your lower stomach. "I- I'm close." You breathe out. "Good, don't stop until you cum." Not even a second later your gushing down the black shift, her eyes gleaming with pride. Her finger moves to collect some and put it on her tongue. "Tasty." She hums. "Mm-kay. The deal." You speak tiredly. She chuckles at you. "You seem warn out. Maybe you should just rest in the-" You shake your head rapidly. "No please need you Billie. Please fuck me." It was merely pathetic, but its true you did need her. "Say no more." She smirks, grabbing your waist yet again. She positions you in the back. Leaning her body against yours.
Her hands grab the dildo. Taking your underwear off fully. "That's better." She sighs out, finally getting to look at your pussy. The one thing she dreamed about. "Even better in person." You didn't even care what she meant by that you both needed this as bad as one another. "Incredibly wet huh?" You shut your eyes. "Who got you so messy baby?" You take a moment, sucking in a nervous breath. "Y-you." The tip prods your hole. "Who?" "Mm, you Billie. You." You say as you feel it, so incredibly close to it's destination. "Please." You moan. Without any more words she bottoms out. Watching your face carefully as your eyes widen, mouth gaping. Hole too. "Mm, nice and deep." Your stomach erupts in butterflies as her voice turns into a husky whisper. Her mouth going to your ear. "So, so. Tight." That same whisper.
Going straight through to your dead mind. You let out a small whimper. Her pace begins, slow yet forceful. Her tongue darts out, licking your lobe. Moving down to your neck. "You know how long I've been waiting to have you like this. Been driving me nuts." She says against your skin. You pluck up some sort of sentence. "You know.. You could always do it on your own, while you're looking at me." Her smirk turns malicious. "Oh trust me, I do." Her thrusts pick up with such need. Needing this more than ever. Your head tilts. Back arching into her thrusts. "F-fuck!" The car becomes hot, steamy. The smell of sex very evident as your body's get clammy together. You grip her shirt, signaling for her to take it off.
She gladly does, chucking it on the floor of the backseat. She had no bra on, making your eyes instantly look. She smirks at you, noticing how your breath gets weaker. You couldn't believe this was really happening. "Breathe baby." She says, noticing how worked up you're getting. You sigh, very contently. Letting your eyes flutter close. "There you go, good girl." Your eyes open again, looking at her breasts. That same shyness coming back. Just what she wanted. Her hand reaches for yours gently, moving it to her right breast. "Don't be shy, it's ok." Your legs wrap around her waist, moaning as she trusts harder. Making it nearly impossible for you to focus. "Billie!" You screech. "Who." She stays sternly. She loved you saying her name.
Your voice so whiney, so soft. "Billie- fuck!" Your hair sticks to your forehead as she fucks you at an ungodly pace. "Yeah, me. I'm fucking you dumb." Something switches in her brain. Something primal. "Getting so loose, so easy to fuck." Woah. If you weren't on the verge of cumming before you definitely were now. "Nevermind, pussys closing around me." She says coming close to your face, kissing you. You squeeze her tit, moaning into her mouth. Perfect opportunity to stick her tongue in your mouth. And without any warning at all you cum, again. Taking her by surprise. You breathe heavily as she fucks you through it. "God you're good." You say. So out of breath, the heat inside the car insane. "Damn, I mean I wasn't even prepared, babygirl." She fakes a sigh.
"Guess a few more rounds would help." She smirks at your face. This was going to be a long, steamy night.
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district4loading · 2 days ago
Text
Prada's Star
Twice Sana x Male Reader
10K Words
Content Warning: Smut and some plot
Minors DNI
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A/N: Good Morning, I was supposed to finish this and post it last night but I ended up falling asleep while editing. I have class in a few hours so I decided i'd get this finished for you guys.
This is NOT the "longer fic" i've been working on. It's a request, but due to the length of the ask, I've decided that i'll post the ask in a separate post. If you don't want spoilers, then don't read the ask...
Enjoy!!! The smut is kind of long
-
This is dangerous, she’s dangerous
-
"Why her?" The first words that you were able to muster after your boss told you that you'd be looking after Minatozaki Sana, the ambassador of Prada who's coming from Korea to attend the Men's show here in Milan. You could've been assigned to literally anyone else—you wanted to be assigned to literally anyone else. Definitely not the woman that's going to get the most attention.
That only meant more work for you.
It was from then on that he explained to you that you're the only bodyguard who's qualified and fluent in Korean so you'd be able to communicate with her as needed. That and the fact that you're getting paid more than usual because of Sana's status.
So there you are, standing by to protect the true star of the show. The moment she steps out of the car it's all eyes on her. When she turns around to reveal her face you can hear the frantic screams of the fanboys and fangirls from across the street. She smiles politely and waves the best she can before she's practically barked at by multiple different assholes holding a camera.
Her dress is short—like really short and you only notice when you catch the way she subtly reaches to pull it down. You step behind her and you pull it down properly for her and when she feels the slight tug she looks back a little shocked to see you there. The eye contact you make in that moment is a bit unnerving but you keep your eyes on hers. You realize there's something about her aura and the way she looks at you that's nearly captivating. She parts her lips slightly to say something to you but then her attention is drawn away by a photographer.
"Miss!! Miss!! Over here" and you have to bring yourself back down to earth, blinking as you force yourself to look elsewhere.
You step out of the way but you still keep her within your reach as a mere safety precaution, counting out the time that you're supposed to give it before she has to go inside. There's nothing else to do but just watch—watch the bright flickers and flashes of the many cameras only hungry to capture her. They barely even budge when another car comes to drop off the other attendees because compared to Sana, they're irrelevant.
There's no doubt she's got a pretty face, from her captivating eyes to her perfectly sculpted nose and the beauty mark placed so perfectly on her cheek. But instead of strictly appreciating the efforts of her make-up artist, your eyes only hopelessly drift downwards. Down to her chest where the dress squeezes her breasts just right to show off her cleavage.
And it's not only that, that has you nearly leering like a pervert.
Just a bit further down, you notice her long and beautifully slim legs. They're covered by a pair of dark stockings and despite the fact that you went to pull her dress down a few seconds ago, it's still so criminally short. So short that if it weren't for the big coat she's got on over it, she'd be exposed.
It takes a few seconds before you're able to completely drink in her appearance because she's a tall glass of temptation—and you're thirsty. The kind of woman that you'll only see once in your entire life, then never again but you'll spend the rest of it thinking about her and comparing her to any other woman that comes into your life. Spoiler alert, they'll never be the same.
You blink, then peel your eyes off of her body and you find it in your weak mind to look somewhere that wasn't her. When you do, you catch the slightest glimpse of Sana's face and she's looking at you with a smirk so sly and suggestive you can feel your cheeks burn red before you look away.
"Great, she probably thinks i'm some kind of perv now" You beat yourself up about it pretty bad, telling yourself that it's embarrassing and that she'll probably be uncomfortable with you touching her or getting too close from then on.
This isn't like you—no, not at all. No matter how attractive a woman is, you'd never eye her body like that. Especially when your job is to protect her. It's inappropriate, it's highly unprofessional and it's.. disgusting.
You hate yourself for it.
Soon, times up and you walk in front of the cameras, absentmindedly putting your hand on Sana's lower back—an accident that makes your heart sink. You pull your hand away quickly and you lean down to whisper, "We have to get going." She nods her head then waves at everyone else before turning around.
The mob of hungry photographers follow you closely, a little too close for your liking. You block them with your arm "Not too close" You say it loud and clear so they can hear over all the commotion. It's a whole mob of them, doing their best to get close all for a damn picture. You think it's ridiculous--which is why you have no tolerance or respect for these people. They aren't "fans" who long for cute interaction or a signature, they're vultures who only care about the profit they'll earn for invading privacy.
Sana's manager is on the other side, blocking people as best as she can. There's a guy who tries to sneak a grab at Sana's arm and you catch him quickly, shoving his shoulder away with ease before he can even touch her. You can tell she's a bit startled by it, but she laughs it off as you guys make it through the doors where only people with the invite are allowed.
"Thank you" Sana smiles
Your words almost get caught up in your throat when you begin to register that she's actually speaking to you right now. Also looking at you and embarrassingly enough you can't bring yourself to look her in the eye, still ashamed of how she caught you staring outside. "I- uh- It's no problem, just doing my job" You stutter, before she turns around to follow her manager to where they're holding the show.
-
On the inside it's boring. Just another fashion show where you'd usually respond to texts or emails and give your boss updates for the majority of the time. Occasionally you'll steal a few pictures of some outfits you find nice or interesting.
This time, your focus is completely on Sana. After what happened earlier, you promised yourself that you wouldn't do it again but here you are, staring once more. She's sitting with her knees pressed together so no matter how hard you look, you can't see up her dress—granted you shouldn't even be trying. What you can see though, her thighs. You catch yourself silently praying to God for forgiveness because the thoughts that cross your mind are just pure filth.
From this angle they look so smooth and soft, something your hands are just aching to touch, feel and squeeze. You think back to when you had to pull her dress down, you could've done it right there—reach your hand down just a little bit more to get a feel of those supple thighs. But you didn't—you couldn't.
You look up, just a bit as she leans over to get a view of the models strutting down the runway and you can see more. Her tits nearly spill out of her dress and you could only imagine what it'd be like if her dress was just a tiny bit tighter.
Once again, in the corner of your eye you catch the exact moment she turns her head to look at you. The sudden movement causes your eyes to catch hers and immediately a flood of shame washes over you as you almost break your neck to look off. "Fucking shit" You mutter under your breath as you pull your phone out, just to occupy yourself really.
You end up spending the first few seconds shakily opening and closing random apps to make yourself look busy. It's the guilt that starts to eat you alive afterwards. You're supposed to be her protector. Now you're almost ninety-nine percent sure she's disgusted with you because she thinks you want to fuck her. It probably makes her uncomfortable—the way you keep on staring at her fucking body with nothing but reckless lust in your eyes.
You should clear the air, apologize and tell her it isn't what it looks like. Then maybe she won't report you to your boss. Just maybe.
-
By the time the show ends, Sana needs to again be escorted to her ride to the afterparty.
You do so the best you can, staying near her at all times, blocking the mob of people waiting with your arm out to protect her. It's the least you can do after everything.
When Sana and her manager are safely in the car, you have to catch your own ride to the afterparty. As planned, you make it there before they do and you wait on the curb for them to arrive.
It's a bit more tame here, of course there's still the fans standing around in the cold weather waiting, but now they're behind a sort of barricade so they can't get too close. The photographers are limited to that space too, so you're sure that thing's will go smoother.
Once they get here, the door slides open and you put your hand out to help her step out of the vehicle. She holds onto you firmly as she gets herself out, you can feel her nails slightly digging into your skin but you don't mind it at all "Thank you" She tells you with a nice smile. You only nod your head as her manager comes out a little later.
After everything, you didn't expect her to look at you—much less speak at you so nicely. It seems like she doesn't completely hate you as much as you've made yourself believe.
On your way inside, Sana decides to stop a bit to sign a few albums and pictures. So you have to be quick in stopping random people from reaching out to touch her hair or her arm or pull on her clothes. People can get really weird when it comes to the people they idolize, it's like boundaries and personal space doesn't exist to them. "No touching please" You vocalize it for her as you push some wandering arms away quickly.
You've been doing this a while, so even when someone thinks they're being slick, you're still able to catch them before they make contact. You're good at what you do. "Enough autographs, lets get inside" You hear the manager say to which you just nod your head.
Sana signs one more photobook before she walks off into the afterparty.
You figure you can let your guard down because there aren't any fans or creepy photographers inside. Just famous and important people talking to other famous and important people. Some people are talking and others are drinking and dancing to the music on the inside. It seems very laid back and casual.
There's nobody here you know or honestly care to know. Yeah, maybe there's some people from the board of directors for Prada and maybe there are some brilliant artists and celebrities but you have no interest in getting to know them. You know they're all a bunch of old people with no personality and more money than anyone could possibly need in their entire lifetime.
However, you still don't forget who you're here for. Although you're only leaning on the wall with a cup of water in your hand, you're still watching her. Sana seems to be having a bit of fun and she's letting herself loose. She's taking shots and dancing with a couple of people she must know from previous events she's been to.
They seem comfortable with each other.
The way Sana dances, moving her hips all smooth and fluid has you staring again. You're aware of what this must look like to anyone else, you're now also aware of the lack of simple discipline you have.
You find out new things about yourself every day, today you realize that you have a thing for Minatozaki Sana.
Of course, the next song that comes on is slower, more sensual too so she's dancing accordingly. The people around her are cheering her on, calling her hot and telling her to keep going. God you wish she'd stop. It's too hot, Sana's too fucking hot. There's no reason she should be moving her body like that in front of everyone, swaying her hips and rolling her body without a care in the world.
You have to shift the way you're standing because now there's an ache in your pants. You're hard in the middle of the afterparty. There's no way you can subtly adjust yourself right now and it's so painfully obvious whats going on in your pant's right now. You set your water down on the table next to you and you're about to go to the bathroom to fix it when you see Sana walking up to you. For the thousandth time today, your heart sinks and you freeze when you see her taking her jacket off, the same jacket that was covering her up.
"Hey! Can you hold onto this for me? It's getting kind of.." You catch the moment her eyes drift down for a split second and you're absolutely mortified. First you open your mouth to apologize so you can then excuse yourself and you waddle to the bathroom with the small bit of dignity you have left but Sana only looks back up at you and strangely she just continues "sorry, it's getting kind of hot in here. Make sure you don't leave it anywhere, yeah?" She smiles at you politely.
"No- Yeah... I guess I'll just stay here with it" You chuckle before she turns off to go back with her friends.
The entire walk there, you can see up her dress and it's just so indecent. Some sick part of your mind is telling you that's she's doing it all on purpose, dancing all slutty just to get you all horny and hard for her. Maybe she likes the attention. You quickly void the thought when you realize just how fucking gross it is to think that way, shifting yourself around ever so slightly because the ache is getting worse.
You don't want to look and just watch the effortless masterpiece that she is. It's too much for you to handle but you just can't bring yourself to look away. Your mind goes places it shouldn't. You're beginning to think about what it'll be like to rip her out of that expensive dress. Well, the material isn't that rip-able but you'd still be able to tear those restricting stockings open and just- "Y/n" A familiar voice interrupts your sinful thoughts and brings you back to reality.
It's the manager and as soon as you realize, you slightly move Sana's jacket so it's hiding the bulge in your pants. "I'm going to be talking to that lady over there for a little bit, just keep an eye on Sana"
"Oh trust me miss, I've been watching her" A breathy chuckle escapes your lips"You have no idea"
You don't say that last part out loud, but you definitely think it.
-
Sana knows what she saw, she knows good and well that when she looked down it was your raging erection poking out of your pants. She wonders if it's her fault—she knows it's her fault. The moment you first locked eyes and when she first caught you staring she knew that she was fucking wrecking you. Just by existing really. She found it cute how embarrassed you'd get whenever she caught you staring.
It was flattering even—but now that she knows how pent up she's got you, she thinks she should help you out. Maybe it's because she's a bit tipsy or maybe it's cause she just finds you attractive, but the way she can feel your eyes on her turns her on. She doesn't even have to look in your general direction to know how much you're staring.
All day, she's managed break you down to this. A man who can't even muster up the will power to look away from her. It's pathetic.
So she get's an idea
"Manager Unnie!" She taps the shoulder of the shorter—but older—woman while she's very obviously in conversation. She turns around with a hum, noticing that Sana's a bit loose from the drinks she's had "I'm think I'm ready to go back to the hotel, I'm sooo tired"
Sana also briefly greets the lady that the manager was talking to "Ah, can you give us maybe another hour? We're talking about a few deals and it may-"
"It's fine! The bodyguard can take me" She cuts in quickly, like the ideas been on her mind since before she came up to them.
It has.
The manager looks back at you, then to Sana "Are you sure?" The tipsy girl only nods with a smug smile on her face. "Give me a second" She mouths to the lady she was speaking to before walking over to you with Sana.
"Hey, Y/n I'm sorry about all this. Sana's ready to go, so if you could possibly take her back to the hotel..." She's obviously a bit apologetic about burdening you with a task you aren't being paid to do.
"Oh yeah, no problem" You blurt out like the people-pleaser you are before noticing what you've just agreed to. You just put yourself in a car alone with Sana. It's not that you have some porn inspired fantasy about being able to fuck her brains out the moment you get her by herself. It's just, from a far you could barely hold yourself together—shit you're still trying to hide the fact that you're all pent up and hard for her right now.
You know you'll probably end up rubbing one out when the nights over. You're just afraid that her presence might just be maybe too much to bear. "Oh that's great! Thank you so much" The Manager smiles thankfully then bows to you out of habit "I have to get back, you two drive safe and text me when you get back, yeah?" She gives Sana a look.
"Of course" She nods to the manager before turning her back to you "Shall we?"
You tilt your head a bit in confusion before she prompts you verbally "My coat"
"Oh- Sorry" You apologize before straightening the thick material out. Then you carefully get her arms through the sleeves, "There we go, all set?" Sana hums with a nice smile before you're ready to escort her.
You have to take the car you drove here, so you escort her outside from a secret exit. There wasn't much time to deal with the fans and crowds of people tonight.
The car ride is mostly silent up until you make it a few minutes away from your destination. Sana sits forwards in the backseat of the car, she's seated directly behind you. You take a glance at the rear-view mirror, noticing how her hand is reaching over the front seat "Hey- uh, you have to wear a seat belt or else you..." You nearly lose your train of thought when she touches your shoulder "I could get a ticket..."
Sana ignores you and instead allows her sneaky hand to slide down your chest. "Y/n... is it?" She asks, still unsure because she's only going off of what she heard the manager call you. You don't respond because you simply can't. You don't know why she's touching you like this nor do you have the slightest clue about why she's using this soft and almost sultry tone of voice when she speaks—but it's making you feel like the airs getting warmer.
Maybe it's cause she had a few drinks, you've got no clue but you're sure of one thing—she's turning you on. It's a real shame. Just when you were beginning to get a grip from the scene at the after party, she touches you once and your pants are immediately getting tighter than they were before.
You only repeat what you said before because they're the only words you're able to muster. That and it's a fact that the police are strict about seatbelts here. But Sana merely hums and once again disregards your words "I just wanted to tell you that you did a great job protecting me today"
"Uh.. thank you. I try my best" You nod as her hands draw soft movements along your shoulder and to your chest "But, Miss you really need to-"
"Sana" She corrects you "You can call me that" She's leaning forwards a bit and her lips are so close to your ear that her words send a chill right down your spine. You choose not to say anything because there's nothing at all sensible that comes to your mind. She's got you panicking, your palms sweating as you switch lanes.
This is dangerous, she's dangerous
Then her eyes flicker down—down to where you've been so embarrassingly hard for her since the after party "How about I help you out with your little problem down there? You can think of it as a reward for protecting me so well"
Your throat goes dry as you pull into the parking lot of the hotel "I'm not sure what you mean by that miss" You feign innocence, reaching down to put the vehicle in park.
Sana only sits back in her seat, withdrawing herself from you so you can finally breathe "Come sit with me in the backseat and you'll find out." You notice that her tone is all cute and naughty. You sit there for a moment, not even being able to move your hand from the stick shift. You know you shouldn't. You should just ignore her and help her to her hotel room, she doesn't seem like the type to push if you tell her no.
Then you begin to think about the consequences—what might happen if anyone finds out. You could get fired. Somehow, someway, despite everything in your living being telling you not to—you step out of the car and you slide the door to the backseat open to get inside just like she told you to. You wipe your palms in your pants and Sana scoots over to you, pulling you in by the lapel of your jacket. Usually, you'd be upset by the rough way in which she's handling it—cause it isn't cheap—but not this time when her lips are colliding with yours.
You kiss her back and it's even better than you imagined. Her lips are so soft and plump there's no possible way that you could ever get enough of them. She hums softly while you kiss her and you reach down to do exactly what you've been longing to—what you've been thinking about since she first stepped out of the car earlier today. You grab her supple thigh and you squeeze it hard, feeling the way it nearly gives in your grip. She moans, then her hand slides down from your chest all the way to your pants. She rubs your cock softly through the fabric and the growl that bubbles in your throat is nearly primal.
Utter anticipation as she brings her other hand down to properly get your pants unbuttoned and your zipper down. She pulls away from the kiss and in the darkness you notice that her lipstick is slightly smudged as she gets her fingers hooked around your waistband "I saw the way you've been watching me, more specifically my body" She mutters as you lift your hips, just so she can pull it down along with your boxers. "My legs, my ass, my tits..." She emphasizes the delivery of each body part as if she were trying to prove some kind of point. When your dick springs out she gasps, then licks her lips before looking back up at you "and I also know you've been like this since the afterparty"
Sana wraps her fingers around your shaft and you can only throw your head back, exhaling softly as you feel the soft warmth of her hands. She begins to stroke you up and down nice and slow "It's your fault" You grit through your teeth to suppress a moan that almost creeps it's way out.
"Yeah?" She giggles as she repositions herself in the car. Sana shifts to her knees and pulls off her coat, letting it fall to the ground before she ducks her head down. She grabs a hold of your cock again, flicking her wet tongue on the head. You get your fingers threaded through her dark red hair and you're probably ruining an hours worth of hard work by her hair dresser but she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, it seems that she likes it.
Sana takes you into her mouth and continues to stuff you deeper "Oh my God" You mutter and she only giggles the best she can with her mouth full of you. The feeling of pure raw pleasure is dizzying, it's the way her smooth tongue drags up and down the side of your shaft as she bobs her head up and down. Then the enhanced sensitivity when it brushes up against your frenulum on the way up. "Sana.." You say her name for the first time and it feels so right, like it's only fitting for your voice. "That's so fucking good"
She moans, then hums when she feels a slight tug at her scalp. It's a silent plea your body makes to urge her for more as the greed overcomes you. Sana acknowledges this, then she begins to suck, creating an almost vacuum tight seal as she bobs her head up and down. It catches you off guard and your hips buck as you hiss at the feeling.
Her lips feel incredible wrapped around your cock. The moist suction has you moaning and groaning uncontrollably like you never have before. You bite your lip and shut your eyes as she goes faster with her hand at the base stroking you while she sucks you off and then her tongue begins to swirl around on the shaft. "S-Slow down" You let out a shaky breath, moaning softly and she releases you with a pop.
"What?" She licks her lips, a devilish smile on her face as she continues to jerk you with her grip tight. Then she playfully flicks her tongue on the tip.
"I'm close" You feel your face burning redder than it already is because she hasn't even done much and you're already about to lose it.
"What? You scared you're gonna blow a load in my mouth before we get to the good part?" You swallow and you open your mouth to say something, but Sana drags her tongue along the tip and you forget it all. She hums at the taste of your salty pre-cum thats been non-stop leaking down your shaft ever since she got her mouth on you. "Listen, this is what's gonna happen" She jerks your cock slowly as she speaks with her voice hushed "You're going to cum in my mouth... then you're going to take me up to my room where I'll let you fuck me senseless. Sounds good?"
You nod your head, unable to form any words as Sana lowers her head again. The moment she gets her warm mouth on you, your cock is already twitching. "Fucking.. hell" You moan, hearing and feeling the muffled giggle she makes on your cock. The way she works her tongue, the warmth of her mouth, the soft feel of her velvety inner cheeks... it's something you've never felt before.
Of course, you've had many blowjobs in the past but this is the first time you're getting one from Sana. You've gotta admit it's the best you've ever had.
The moment Sana begins to suck and swirl her tongue around your tip, you're a goner. She reaches her other hand to massage your balls and in a flash, you're cumming. "Sana... i'm gonna fucking.." When she feels the first rope hit the roof of her mouth, she hums, smiling the best she can as you pulse and throb in her mouth. You can't contain your choked up noises as your body heats up and the pure ecstasy takes over you.
You feel all of it leave your entire being—the frustration and the desire you felt from watching her all day, it washes away in a flash. Sana carefully takes you out of her mouth, making sure not to spill anything before she opens her mouth to show you how much you came. Her mouth's nearly filled to the brim with it. You can only just sigh, a dazed look in your eye as you watch her close her mouth to swallow it all in one gulp.
Sana licks her lips clean, then she leans in to kiss you. Of course, you let her and you don't even mind tasting the remnants of your seed on her lips. Already, you feel your cock hardening again just from making out with her and hearing the small noises she makes on your lips. Her moans sound different this time, it feels more raw and needy rather than cute but it's still sexy all the same. You quickly remember what she just told you.
She wants you to fuck her senseless.
"Let's go" You mutter against her lips before breaking the kiss completely to messily pull your pants up. It takes a moment, but you're able to get yourself together quickly and step out of the car. Outside is cold and windy, it greatly contrasts from the intense heat inside of the car so you shiver a bit, holding your hand out to help Sana exit the car.
When you make it into the elevator, the sexual tension is unbelievable. The only reason why the two of you aren't ripping each other's clothes off is because you have to wait. It's so tempting because you're standing so close together in this empty space where it seems like nobody can see you.
The cameras can
Finally, you make it to Sana's floor and the two of you walk all the way to her room. Sana swipes her keycard and unlocks the door, stepping inside with you behind her. You close the door and as soon as the lock clicks, your lips are together once again. You grab her coat and you push it back to help her get it off. Once it falls to the ground you don't care enough to step around it, you actually step on it as you get her to the bed.
Sana sits on the edge of the bed and you stand in front of her, pulling your lips off of hers as you reach your hand down to her thigh. You squeeze it and for a moment you think about taking her stockings off all nice and careful because you're not sure how much they're worth. Then you end up using both of your hands to rip them apart just like you thought of doing earlier. "Do you know how much this costs?" Sana squeals at the force that you use to tear the expensive fabric as you continue to pull them off.
"No" You mutter, getting her heels off as well. Once they're off, you get your hands on her soft and smooth legs and they feel even better like this.
"Me neither, it was a gift" Sana giggles as you reach to get her safety shorts off and her panties go along with it. You're not wasting any of the precious time you have with her tonight. There's no telling that you'll ever get an opportunity like this again. So you reach underneath her dress and you palm her wet cunt, feeling her warm juices seep between your fingers. "Fuck" She murmurs under her breath and you notice that the confidence in her tone that was just there a moment ago has vanished.
Now she needs you more than ever right now. The tables have turned, now you're the one in control and she's the one who's about to be a mumbling, stuttering mess under you.
"You have no clue..." You mutter when you bury your two fingers inside of her, eliciting a sudden gasp. You take note of how easily they go in and the look in Sana's dazed eyes makes it seem like she's not even there mentally "...what you've been doing to me today"
She moans, then bites her lip as you work your fingers inside of her clenching cunt. "I think i've got an idea" she mumbles, words coming out almost as messy as her make-up looks right now. Sana pulls you closer, then she unzips your fly and pulls your cock out of your pants "You're gonna ruin me with this thing" This sexy smirk appears on her lips and you only bury your fingers deeper inside of her.
Sana gasps, then pulls you by your suit to get you closer to her. "Sure, but first you're gonna cum on my fingers." She whines at this, but you value foreplay. Also, Sana looks too good in this dress for you to get it off of her just yet. Especially when she's got her legs spread for you. You take a deep breath in with your nose buried in her hair and you kiss along the flesh of her neck. Some hair strands get in your mouth, but you keep kissing her there, hearing it in real time as her sounds get needier.
There's no way you can just sit there and ignore the messy noise on your fingers as you pump them in and out of her. She covers it up real well with her pretty moans, but it's almost embarrassing how noticeable it is. Sana is so wet that it's leaking down your hand and staining the sheets beneath her and the dress she's got on. "You're so fucking wet for me, so ready to have me inside you" You mutter it into her ear and the way her body shudders is almost priceless.
Sana nods her head the best she can "Please..." She starts off, hands gripping at your arms . You pull back to look into her eyes "Please give it to me" She begs, giving you a set of puppy eyes that almost makes you question your own judgement.
A low chuckle escapes your lips when you notice the way her legs begin to shake as you glide your fingers in and out of her. You want to watch it all happen, the moment she first falls apart for you. You need to take it all in. This side of her is one that only few people get to see and you're lucky enough to have the privilege of witnessing it before your eyes.
The way her eyes squint as her brown pupils try to keep themselves visible, how her lips part to let out those beautiful high pitched moans. Everything is better this way "Fuck... I'm-" She can't even finish her sentence before her orgasm rips through her. A loud moan escapes her lips and her hips grind forwards.
"There you go, Sana" You hum "Cum for me" As you continue to move your fingers, Sana's eyes clamp shut and she throws her head back with loud moans flying freely from her mouth.
When she's finally done, you have to wrap your arms around her to hold her up. You kiss her again but this time you make it last longer. You move your lips against each others like it's a fight and you know you've won once she lets your tongue inside her mouth. You reach down to take off her belt and you toss it to the side, then you pull down the zipper to her dress.
You break the kiss to help her get it off fully to reveal her strapless bra "Take it off" You step back as you begin to get your own clothes off. Sana immediately does as you say, then she sits herself further on the bed, leaning back on her forearms to spread her legs. She bites her lip softly as she trails her hand down her body to tease as you struggle with the buttons of your shirt.
"Take your time" Sana giggles playfully while her fingers spread her cunt.
Once you finally get your shirt off, you kick off your shoes and you drop your pants and your boxers. There's no time to leave them anywhere else but the pile on the floor because you can barely control yourself when you climb onto the bed to get your body on hers finally. "You're dangerous" You press your lips against hers as you settle yourself in between Sana's legs.
You first notice how she's made you completely forget about using protection. It's a stupid fucking risk—you know it is but you just can't bring yourself to ruin everything and bring it up. She doesn't seem to mind so why should you? As you suck on Sana's tongue you begin to line yourself up with her entrance. It's wet but she's so tight, making it a bit hard for you to get it in smoothly.
To focus, you pull your lips off of her and you look down. Finally you're able to properly guide the head inside of her tight cunt. She moans softly when she first feels the stretch and you groan at the tight grip "Fuck- please don't tease I need it deep"
You're not teasing, you're giving yourself a second to prepare yourself before you sink all the way in. She feels too fucking good, better than you thought she would. You should've known, Sana's full of surprises. The way her walls hug you heightens every sensation and lights each one of your nerves on fire. You need to remind yourself that you can't just stay like that forever. You have to do something to let it be known that she chose the right guy to take care of her tonight.
So you thrust your hips forwards, feeling the way her nails immediately dig into your biceps as a response. She winces as you bury yourself all the way to the hilt but otherwise she takes you very well "You okay?" You ask softly, stopping your own voice from shaking as she clenches around you.
Sana nods so you decide to reposition yourself to sit on your heels, getting a good grip on her thighs before you begin to move. You start off slow, moving at an easy pace so she can get used to your size. "Sana... you feel so fucking good" You groan, fingers digging through her flesh so hard it's leaving red marks on her pale skin.
"Please- Just don't stop- okay?" The look in her eye tells you that she just might cry if you stop, so you speed up a little. Sana's back hits the mattress and she tries so hard not to close her eyes as she feels the intense stretch your thick cock gives her. She loves it.
You watch the way her tits bounce up each time your hips meet hers and you've got to admit it almost hypnotizes you. Her body looks so perfect, skin sleek, flesh red and warm as you give her everything you have to offer—every single inch that the angle will allow—she deserves that much simply for being who she is. A goddess who's decided to bless you with her body tonight.
Her moans fill up the room. At first she was trying to hold them in, now she's letting them out freely. It feels like an honor to hear her get this loud. The people in the next rooms can probably hear how good you're fucking her. It's so obscene and you love it. "Your fucking cock- fuck it's so-" She's barely able to formulate proper sentences, but she can get enough across with one word "Please- Deeper... need you deeper inside of my fucking pussy" She begs "Please.. more"
Without any words you lean forwards, pressing on the backs of her thighs to put her in a mating press. This allows you to get your cock deeper in her and you begin to pound into her roughly in this position. The force of your first thrust knocks the air out of her lungs, the only thing that can be heard are her gasps and choked up moans as you continue.
"Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes" She chants, eyes slammed shut as you fill her to the brim with your balls slapping against her ass each time you bottom out. You can hear the wet sticky sounds getting louder and louder as you fuck Sana. You can also feel her cunt quivering around your cock and you can tell that she's already close again. "Please- keep fucking... Oh my God" She mouths the last part because her voice goes silent against her will.
"Yes Sana, cum on my fucking cock... you know you need to" You groan, feeling your balls twitch as your orgasm is also imminent.
You think about pulling out right after she's done cumming, but as soon as you feel that foreign feeling of her warm, tight cunt pulsing and clenching you, your mind goes blank. "You're gonna make me cum, you're gonna make me fucking- Ah!" Sana moans and she's cumming again, body shaking and stuttering more violently than it was before. She doesn't stop there though, it keeps going for a long while, like you've forced her into an ever-lasting orgasm.
"Jesus, Sana" You moan, thrusting feverishly into her as you watch her entire body snap and unravel before your very eyes. It's the last sight you see before you begin shooting your load deep inside of her without warning. You didn't even notice when you reached the point of no return, you were too focused on Sana to realize just how close you were. "Fuck.. I'm sorry" You slip your cock out and watch as your seed drips out of her.
That's not a sight you were sorry for
Sana only giggles, pulling you back down to lay on top of her again "It's okay, baby" She mumbles before she presses her lips against yours. You make out breathlessly for a little while before Sana reaches down to cup your balls in her hands "You got any more for me?" She asks to which you just sigh without really responding.
With a smirk on her face, Sana makes a move to push your shoulder lightly. You catch the drift and you lay back onto the bed, allowing her to straddle your lap. Her tits bounce slightly with the quick movement she makes as she hovers a bit to get you inside of her again. She holds your cock in place and allows the tip to part her lips just before she completely sinks down slowly until your bodies meet. You see the way her face gives into the pleasure, taking note of how she attempts to hide it before she leans down to kiss you again.
She can't contain the small moans she makes into the kiss when she begins to move at her own pace, hips moving forward and backwards. A groan bubbles in your throat because the way she takes control is destroying you. Sana breaks the kiss and straightens her arms out so she can plant them on your shoulders. This gives her more leverage to ride you a little faster.
You reach your hand around to leave a light tap on her butt, then you end up using your hands to hold both cheeks. They're just as soft as the skin on her thighs and you just can't keep your hands off of her, it's almost like your palms are glued there.
Sana smiles, then guides one of your hands away from her ass. She stops moving her hips for a second as sits still as she puts your hand over her belly "You're this deep right now" She reveals, pressing your hand into her body so you can feel just how deep you are. You don't exactly know what to say to that, Sana once again leaves you speechless.
There's no time to talk though before she begins to bounce on your cock again, this time moving up and down with the roll of her hips. You knew she'd be good at this from the way she was dancing at the after party, it's crazy that she knows how to move her body in just the right ways.
You take some time to admire her entire being, from her beautiful lust-filled eyes to her swollen pink lips. Your eyes drift to her chest and you're stuck staring at her breasts again. You move your hands from her ass and you reach up to grab two handfuls of the warm flesh. "I really can't get enough of your cock" Her tone is so fun and playful when she says it and you can't help but smile back at her when you notice the subtle glimmer in her eye.
She grinds down nice and slow, then leans forwards so your hands slide down to her waist. "and I can't get enough of you" You mutter just before she kisses you again. Kissing Sana feels oddly nice, it gives you this fluttering feeling inside that you've never felt with anyone else before. Your tongues dance together in the same smooth and soft way that she's riding you, matching the pace. It's really slow and almost intimate—as if you're life long partners who already know each other's bodies.
Even if it's not the case you let yourself believe it and live in it for the moment. That's until the unhurried pace becomes unbearable for you. There's a burning desire for her in the pit of your stomach that creeps it's way in and your hips begin to move, thrusting up involuntarily. Sana whines at the first shallow thrust you make up into her sopping cunt and it only tells you that she needs more. "Please"
So you tighten your grip on her waist and you begin to fuck her, rough and fast. Maybe it's the angle, or maybe you've got her close again but her moans are louder this time. She's nearly screaming, head buried into the crook of your neck as you pound into her relentlessly. "Oh- Fuck yes- just like that baby! Please don't stop.. don't fucking stop" She begs you like her life depends on the event that your cock keeps hitting that same spot inside of her.
It's taking a lot of energy and strength for you to hold this position, it doesn't take long before every single muscle inside of you begins to burn and you don't know how much longer you can hold out. The way she's begging keeps you going though, so you don't stop. You push through, gaining some sort of fuel from her moans and the punishing slapping noises that are coming from between your legs.
"Oh fuck- If you keep-" You barely even hear what she's saying so you write it off as dumb ramblings "You're gonna make me-" Then all of a sudden, she gets tighter—so unbelievably tight that your cock slips out of her and Sana squeals then a warm sticky river spills all over your abs as she trembles in your grip.
You slap her ass, a cocky chuckle escaping your lips when you realize that you just made her squirt. "I didn't think you'd be a squirter" You grab your cock and slide it back inside of her, continuing to fuck her as if nothing happened. Sana doesn't respond, the only thing that can come out of her are broken moans that hurt her hoarse voice. Then of course there's the curses and pleas for you to go faster, harder, deeper inside of her. You try your best, but you're only a man after all.
So against Sana's demands, you pull out mostly because you're tired and partially because you were getting close. "N-No... please" She begs, trying her best to guide your cock back inside of her but she can only whine tiredly when you slip from beneath her. "I was so close.." A tired sigh escapes her lips as she lays there all naked, flushed and sweaty.
You stand up from the bed, hand fisting your stiff cock as an idea pops into your mind. You look over to the door to the balcony "Get up" You order, grabbing Sana by the arm and pulling her roughly to help her up because you're not too inclined on waiting for her to register what you've just told her.
Sana only moans softly as you get her on her feet "What are you doing?" She asks as you reach for the balcony door. "Wait- no" She pulls back as you open the door.
"I want you on the balcony"
"But... what if someone sees?" You can tell that she looks a bit scared about it, but it doesn't seem like she'll fight you on it.
"Then i'll make sure we give them a show"
Sana just looks as you, blinking as if she didn't hear what you said. However, when you pull her through the door and into the cold night she doesn't resist. Sana lets you bend her over the black metal railing where she's exposed to the entire city. You guide your cock to her entrance and you slide yourself in nice and easy before you grab her by the arms.
That's when you begin to fuck her from behind with the view of Milan before you. With her status, you can't deny the fact that you're surprised that she's actually letting you fuck her out in the open like this. It's reckless, it's degrading, it's slutty and maybe it's everything she's ever wanted.
The noises your hips make on impact with her soft ass are so loud that you're sure it can be heard on the ground but still you don't slow or stop. Sana's trying her best to keep quiet, but she can't help the whimpers and the whines that escape her lips when the head of your cock nudges past a specific spot inside.
You watch how perfect her body looks while she's being fucked like this. It jolts forwards with each thrust, her head unable to keep still from the force. Her ass jiggles each time you make it to the hilt and the way the skin ripples is almost like water. Then there's the perfect shade of pink her skin has blended into from everything.
You're quite literally fucking her senseless, just like she asked you to and she's fucking loving it.
There's something that you don't quite like though—she's too quiet. So you let go of one of her arms to instead thread your fingers through her hair to get a firm grip on her scalp. You pull Sana's head back and for the first time, she moans out loud. "Go ahead and let it all out darling" You hear her gasp and then, like you've flipped a switch in her you feel her juices spilling between her legs and staining the floor.
Maybe she took your words literally
You decide to keep your hand in her hair because she obviously likes it and you tug a bit harder just to test things out. Sure enough, she moans even louder than before and so you reward her by changing up the pace. You slide yourself in all the way, deep and slow to ensure that she feels every single throbbing inch of you.
The way she clenches around you doesn't help in the slightest, in fact she's already got you nearly ready to burst. Sana's pussy just feels too good. It's so unbelievably wet, warm and tight and each time you pump into her you feel some sort of obligation to savor the moment. "Look at you, Sana... you take my cock so fucking well" Your words make her entire body shudder "I wonder what people would say if they saw you getting fucked like this"
Sana only gasps, words getting caught and stuck in her throat as your cock slides in and out of her. "If they could only hear how wet you are for my cock right now" You mutter, speeding up just a little bit, hearing her whine and moan into the night.
"Please- please fuck me faster" She finally musters up some words and of course it's a plea for you to continue your punishing pace from before. You only hum as if you couldn't hear her, tugging on her hair again for emphasis "I said I want you to fuck me faster! Just fucking- please! I need your cock pounding into me until I can't speak anymore"
You chuckle, then you begin to slam your body into hers at full force "Like this?" You grunt shakily because this is a real work out for you.
"Oh- fuck yes" She nods "Yes, that's right fucking destroy me with that big cock of yours" She moans loudly and you let go of her other arm just so you can slap her ass again so hard that it leaves a red handprint behind. You then grab her waist, allowing Sana to use her hands to brace herself on the metal bars on the balcony in front of her. "You're so fucking deep- fucking stretching me so good- just like that baby! Don't stop, please don't fucking stop"
"I wouldn't fucking dream of it" You growl "I'm going to make you fucking cum on my cock for the entire world to see"
"Fuck- yes please!" Sana's body begins to shake uncontrollably in your grip and her legs go weak. So you hold her up and you continue to pound into her. "I'm so fucking... close" Her moans sound loud and labored now, like she's maybe two seconds away from giving in.
Just a few more hard and rough strokes and... "Oh shit- I'm cumming baby!" She keens with her body nearly seizing in your grip. You let go of her hair and you wrap your arms around her weak body to hold her close, grinding your hips into her to help her ride it out.
"Don't worry Sana, I've got you" You whisper sincerely as you allow her to fall apart in your arms. You feel her pulsing wildly inside and it's only a matter of time before it's your turn.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" She moans wildly as you thrust into her slowly all the way until you stop and then you pull out. You don't waste any time to spin her tired body around and pick her up, holding her by the thighs as she wraps her legs tightly around your waist. You slide yourself back inside of her familiar cunt that's now shaped of you. "Oh my fucking god" Sana bites her lip, wrapping her arms around your neck.
"Sana" You mumble through your heavy breaths "I'm going to cum inside you again" You warn, knowing that there was no other appropriate place to do it tonight. By this time you've forgotten about the freezing temperature and all the eyes that could be on you right now. All that mattered right now was Sana, and the pleasure her body was giving you.
"Yes!" She moans as your cock glides in and out of her "Please fill me up! Give me everything baby.. need to feel your warm cum deep inside"
You feel your balls twitch and that's when the first rope shoots out and pools inside of her cunt. "That's right baby" Sana coos and you groan deeply, thrusts getting messy and indirect as your cock pulses out endless ropes of cum inside of her. You're stuck in a different realm, head cocked to the night sky as your vision goes blurry and your lips part to let out the only noises you can make.
You're stuck like that for a while before the wind of the cold air hits your body and you begin to shiver. So you carry Sana back inside of the room, closing the door behind you before you lay her body onto the bed. You crawl in after her and you end up falling asleep in each other's arms.
-
You're woken up in the morning to some persistent tapping on your arm. You groan groggily and your eyes flutter open "Hey, get up. You have to go" You hear her voice and your ears perk up.
"What?" You mumble, sitting up and wiping the sleep out of your eyes. The sight before you is pure beauty. Sana's fresh out of the shower, wearing a robe with a towel wrapped around her head.
"My manager's coming over soon to take some pictures and stuff, so you have to leave" She repeats once more.
You nod your head, then you remember everything that happened last night. It's like the flashes of random moments and echos of her beautiful moans that you hear faintly. She's about to walk back into the bathroom but you stop her "Wait" She turns around upon hearing your voice, a kind of impatient look on her face as she waits for you to say something "Last night was... amazing"
A small smile forms on Sana's lips "Yeah it was, handsome" You smile a bit when you hear the nickname she gives you. "But seriously, you've gotta get your things and-"
"Will I see you again? How long are you staying in Milan for?"
"Not long, I've got to get back to Korea in a couple of days" She shrugs, then gives you these pitiful set of eyes "and no, we probably won't see each other again"
For some reason, her words feel like a punch in the gut. The thought that you'll never see her again after everything that happened just hurts. "You've got someone waiting for you back in Korea?" You break eye contact, not being able to stand the way she's looking at you. It's more of an assumption than a question because you've already made your mind up. She's probably got a nice guy waiting for her back home and you were just one fun night for her.
You notice how she practically ignores the question before she sit's at the edge of the bed "Listen, you just gave me a night that i'll probably remember for the rest of my life... but I hope you can understand that that's all it was. One night."
So with that, you left
You didn't argue, you didn't get upset and you didn't sulk about it. You just gathered your things and left without even a number. You still think about her often, mostly when you see her on the news or when you see someone that slightly resembles her. 
Sometimes you smell the scent of her shampoo or her perfume on someone else and it takes you back to that night, leaving this sinking feeling in your chest. Maybe it's your mind playing tricks on you but there's been a few instances where you could've sworn you heard her voice or maybe even her laugh.
It's embarrassing to admit but you've spent so much money to only see her whenever she goes on tour. You get barricade in hopes that she'll remember you and you can recall a time that you think you made eye contact with her but she gave no reaction.
You miss her.
You spend almost every night replaying the one you spent together, wondering if you could've done something to make her need you. 
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